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How To Pay For Your Utility Bills

After my last depressing entry, I decided to do this post this funny e-mail joke I received. I am always one to reward quirky behaviour so I think both Jane and David get top marks for excellent customer service and persistence respectively! I had a good laugh with this so I hope you will enjoy it too...

Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.


Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.


Spider 7

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,

You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached

Spider 7

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,

Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.


Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.


Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thank you for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.

Spider 8

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lieu of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

Spider 8



min on Saturday, November 29, 2008


Recession, Restructuring And Retrenchment

I had an inspiring Economics lecturer when I was in Hwa Chong. Mrs. Jennifer Tan ingrained in me the three important "I"s in Macroecnomics - Investment, Inflation and Interest Rate. For the uninitiated, a simplified explanation would be that the level of investment activity in the economy is driven by interest rates. In turn, the level of investment activity determines the economy's growth which would then drive inflation. To complete the inter-relationship, the level of inflation would drive the Central Bank's decision on setting interest rates as a monetary policy tool.


On Friday, DBS Bank announced its disappointing third quarter results at a townhall and said that they will cut 900 jobs in Singapore and Hong Kong as part of a streamlining exercise. Although this came as a shock to me (though DBS is not a government-owned bank, general perception views it as such given it is the largest South-East Asian bank by assets and job cuts are rare in civil service), I thought I should not be affected given I am in credit risk management and this IS a credit crisis afterall. Possibly getting axed would be the backroom operations and front office staff given the slowing volumes, I thought in my head.


To my bitter surprise, my big boss (my boss's boss) briefed the department the following Monday morning. Apparently, my credit department is overstaffed compared with similar credit departments in other banks. This made no sense to me because we have had long work hours and this is a sign of being over-stretched, not overstaffed. Well, the long and short of it was that there will be cuts at my end but the list of affected staff is still being prepared by HR.


This is my first restructuring exercise in my very short working career (it has been 3 years and a couple of months but it feels as if I have worked forever and I am ready to retire tomorrow). Though the list of laid-off staff is not out, morale is very low and there is an overwhelming atmosphere of melancholy in the office as co-workers pack their tables clean in anticipation of being axed. I try my best to continue working as normal and busied myself tying up loose ends so that whoever taking over would not have to figure out such stuff.


I think I have found the three "R"s in the work environment. In a recession, beware the oncoming restructuring exercise which will inevitably lead to a retrenchment...




min on Friday, November 07, 2008