I cannot recall when I first learnt of this cycle but I knew it was always in this order -- you meet a good guy, date for about 2 years, apply for a HDB flat, get married, stay married for 2 years, have kids, work hard to support your HDB flat upsize dreams and your 2 children, watch kids grow up and turn rebellious, look forward to yearly family holidays, kids grow up, retire and finally stay home to take care of your grandchildren.
I hated this process. I am not content to live my life waiting to apply for my HDB flat and then wait get married and live my life to this cycle that everyone prescribes to. I always wanted something different and exciting; I want to travel and live abroad and meet interesting people and know their stories, take pretty postcard-resque pictures to send home as souvenirs and say hello that I am living an exciting life.
I have not given up on my dream of living overseas but that has been put on hold for at least another 2 years. However, recent events in my friends' lives have made me wonder about marriage. I have always believed marriage is for life; through good or bad and you should always try to make things work because well, marriage is for life and both had married out of love. But it seems I am sadly wrong and it disheartens me that reality is harsh and divorce is pretty common. This train of thinking led to me ask why do people get married in the first place if not out of love? If they do marry out of love, should they not try very hard to sustain their marriage out of love?
Many would say you would know you want to marry someone when the feeling is right. "When the feeling is right" is vague and when would be it that the feeling is no longer right? Or when would you know that the feeling just right enough or not right enough? Should there not be some event or factor that would tell you "Yes, I want to marry that person"?
I am tired now and cannot think. I feel very lost all of a sudden having a long-cherished notion in my library of beliefs taken out on loan and seemingly vanished into the vast world of harsh truth.
min on Saturday, June 28, 2008
