(a) Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

(b) Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

(c) Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

(d) Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

(e) Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

(f) Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

(g) Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

(h) Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

(i) Glibido: All talk and no action.

(j) Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you have been smoking marijuana.

And, the pick of the literature:

(k) Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ass