just for today

Make Your Vote Count

2011-05-02T20:11:00.005+08:00

5 years ago in 2006, I was out and about attending Workers' Party rallies with Cedric. My constituency was a walkover as usual and I remember telling Cedric I should contest my GRC in the next election so as to give Singaporeans a chance to vote. It is not right living in a democracy and not being able to vote for who I would like to represent me in Parliament.

It is 2011 now and I am very proud that I am finally able to vote. Reform Party is contesting West Coast GRC and the Opposition has made a bold decision to move out of their traditional stronghold areas and contest GRCs.

In 2006's election, I remember there was alot of fear voting for the opposition because people believed that the government will be able to trace your vote. I recall the ruling party threatened to withhold HDB upgrading if voters voted against them.

In this election, we are still being threatened. Singaporeans are told if they vote for Workers' Party in Aljunied GRC, they will have to "repent". Why is it a sin to vote for the Opposition if we feel that they best represent our interests?

HDB is a national policy and all Singaporeans should benefit from upgrading. Why should we be "punished" for voting whom we think best represent us in Parliament? Do Singaporeans living in Hougang and Potong Pasir not pay taxes which contribute to nation-building? Do they not serve National Service? We are all Singaporeans no matter whom we vote for.

The proliferation of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter have seen many Internet postings on this General Election. This is the most contested GE since Independence with many Singaporeans given the privilege to vote for the first time (I am one). I will be voting from Hong Kong and I hope my fellow Singaporeans will make their vote count.

Everyday

2011-04-09T23:39:00.008+08:00

Everyday, is a day I survived and made progress.

Everyday, I ask myself why did I not see this coming and there is no satisfactory answer. I guess I was silly and you pushed all the right buttons so I believed in you and had nothing to suspect.

Everyday, I tell myself I deserve someone who will not misplace my trust and who will truly love me for who I am.

Everyday, I pick up the broken pieces of my heart. I have done this before and I know I can do it again.

Everyday, I am saved from a relationship based on deceit. There cannot be happiness from a relationship based on lies.

Everyday, I thank my friends and family for their support and I know I can do this.

Set Fire To The Rain

2011-03-26T00:35:00.002+08:00

ADELE - 21

I let it fall, my heart
And as it fell, you rose to claim it
It was dark and I was over
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me
My hands, they were strong, but my knees were far too weak
To stand in your arms without falling to your feet

But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win

But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

When laying with you I could stay there
Close my eyes, feel you here forever
You and me together, nothing is better

'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win

But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
When we fell, something died
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time

Sometimes I wake up by the door
That heart you caught must be waiting for you
Even now when we're already over
I can't help myself from looking for you

I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touch your face
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
When we fell, something died
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time, oh

Oh, no
Let it burn, oh
Let it burn
Let it burn

Rolling In The Deep

2011-03-05T00:15:00.003+08:00

ADELE - 21

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark
Finally, I can see you crystal clear
Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your stuff bare
See how I'll leave with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling we could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hands
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one on you and I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Make a home down there as mine sure won't be shared

The scars of your love remind me of us
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
I can't help feeling
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hands
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside of your hands
But you played it with a beating

Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
It all, it all, it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hands
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hands

But you played it
You played it
You played it
You played it to the beat

F*** My Life

2010-04-13T22:24:00.002+08:00

Chris's Dad sent him some books for his birthday; one of them being "F*** My Life". I picked it up and chuckled to myself as I read these:

Today, I got two text messages from my girlfriend. The first was to tell me it was all over; the second was to say she'd sent it to the wrong person. FML

Today, I discovered my fiance had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the lights came up, we saw he was in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it, she picked it up, put it down and said, 'No'. Then she ate the dessert. FML

And here is one to illustrate that Facebook is evil and has pervasive influence in our lives (which is why I do not maintain an active account):

Today, I looked at the Facebook page of the girl I reall like, and saw that she had recently written on her friend's wall: "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML

Finally, one of my own.

Today, it was my second day at work and a colleague was leaving. I was asked to sign on the card which read "Congratulations". I saw a fellow colleague writing "Wish it was me retiring". Hence, I wrote "Congratulations on your retirement; it is time to do the things you were too busy for before!". When it was time to present the card, I realised the colleague who was leaving was in his early 20s. FML

HKIFF - My First Time

2010-03-27T13:17:00.005+08:00

Every year when SIFF rolls around; Shiling and I would arrange to meet up and buy tickets for our favourite films (mostly Japanese for me while Shiling is a supporter of Singaporean films). It was very sad last year that I could not attend any of the films Shiling and I chose to watch because I did not manage to leave work on time.

This year, I am on my own to experience HKIFF with Chris as my movie partner. I was late in buying tickets and several of my top choices were sold out. However, this screening I attended, which was a trilogy of unrelated films made in Hong Kong, reminded me why I love attending international film festivals. The quirky, low-budget, off-the-beaten track films makes me think of the many stories that everyone has to share.

Homecoming [妈妈离家上班去] (directed by Zune Kwok) is a short film about a Filipino domestic helper Charlie due for retirement. This is a realistic story about Charlie leaving her young son behind to work overseas for a living; in the process, missing out on important life events in her son's life and the bonding process. This story reminded me of my helper in Singapore who has been with us for 21 years and when she joined our family, her daughter was 7 (same age as me then). It was a very heartfelt story as it showed the personal family sacrifices helpers have to make to eke out a living and in the end, the many years of distance with their own children has become too far to bridge.

Little Did She Know [援交] (directed by Risky Liu) tells of two high-school girls engaging in 'enko' (compensated dating) to save up for a Hokkaido trip. One of the girls, Yan was convinced by Kwan to try the trade and in the end, had tragic consequences. I really liked the cinematography with the colours, direction and dialogue. It helped as well that the actresses' acting was the best among the three films with good chemistry between Kwan and Yan. Excerpt from the director's motivation for the film:

"For a long time, I aim at filming a story about youngsters. I try to use a simple and direct way in shooting, using two girls with compensated dating experiences to bring out different social phenomena, relationship with family, complicated love relations... Why do youngsters give up something precious in their lives? Or is it the fact that they do not possess anything that is so-called precious and important? I am not going to figure out the roots of the situation. I just want to show parts of the aspects of today's youngsters to the audience."

That's Why You Go Away [后来] (directed by Nose Chan] has an interesting angle about what love means to each gender. The lead character, Iris, is involved with a married man and finds herself pregnant. She decides to keep the baby and accidentally meets the wife of her ex-boyfriend. A complicated love quadrangle ensues and in the end, Iris had a miscarriage and left both men. Except from the director:

"I like melodrama as it is an exquisite combination of reality and drama. I admire women. They are gentle yet tough, I try to study their underlying textures.

Many people need a romance that they think is unforgettable to tell themselves that they had been in love. And men always attach obligations to their relationships. Time adds weight to the obligation and eventually it outweighs the relationship itself. Men still get enchanted when they think of the past.

Women are persistent and wayward about love. They know very well that someone, once gone, will never come back, yet they persevere.

I just love the title of a Hong Sang-soo film, Woman is the Future of Man."

I agree with the director's comment on people needing an unforgettable romance to validate that they have been love. I used to be like that; and then realised - it is so silly to put yourself through that heartache. Romance can be simple and heartwarming with no drama involved.

Looking forward to the rest of the films I have bought tickets for.

Thank You To The Kindness In Hong Kong

2010-03-01T21:54:00.003+08:00

Before I moved to Hong Kong, my good-hearted friends and colleagues warned me about the 'superficial' Hong Kongers, potential culture clash and to be wary of them. Having spent 5 months in Hong Kong and having worked the past 2.5 months at a bank (which I guess qualifies me as having gained some local working experience); I must say thank you to the kindness I have been bestowed in Hong Kong.

The security guards at my apartment block are very friendly (though I must admit they probably would not be able to fight a burglar) and neighbourly - they greet me with a smile and a "Lei Hou" [你好]when I see them before work and coming home.

My friendly landlord having to bear with my incessant follow-up SMS on the various domestic issues with the apartment, drew a map for me to show me the nearest drycleaners and guided me to the nearest clinic when I fell ill.

The mother and young son whom Chris and I met in the lift twice in the mornings to work - Chris greets them "Zou San" [早晨]and the little boy asks cheekily "Are you happy today?" in Cantonese and I burst out laughing before translating for Chris. The second time we met them, I asked the boy the same question and he asked me "Were you squashed today?" and proceeded to explain how he was squashed yesterday in the lift.

My friend GL who teased me about being a refugee (though I must admit I came up with the term myself) when I was trying so hard to fake the winter look simply by wearing black tights with my Singapore summer dresses. He is a good friend who helped me get in touch with his headhunter friends and bought me dinner when I was out of a job.

My great colleagues at work in HK whom made me feel very welcome. I get invited to all their events (horse-racing at Happy Valley for Chinese New Year celebration, Tung Po dinner, lots of dim sum lunches on work days). I love working with them and for my great boss. They are a great department and I feel very lucky and honoured to have worked with them the past months. I would have loved to stay with them as permanent but as fate would have it - it does not work out that way and I will leave when my contract is completed this March. I will definitely keep in touch with them; they reminded me of my happy days at JPMorgan when life was good with great colleagues and everyone got along harmoniously.

To the many headhunters who helped market me for jobs and to the people whom I have met for interviews. I have never had the experience of having two job offers on the table at the same time; nor having to decline a job because it was not what I want to do. It feels tough being a heart-breaker and telling all the great managers I met with "Sorry, I don't want to proceed with the next round of interview". Thank you for taking the time to meet me. I think I might have found what I am looking for in a job - a great manager who appreciates my working style. (Maybe it is just that I get along better with male managers.)

Finally, to thank the one person who made all this possible. Allman for having the opportunity to relocate back and taking it at my request. I love Hong Kong. I have never felt so welcome in a foreign land; where people appreciate me for what I am and want to hire me. For the friendly Hong Kongers who smile at me and to the little boy who asks the best question. I will ask him for his name next time.

Revival & Recap

2009-10-23T22:57:00.009+08:00

It has almost been a year since my last blog post and the lack of posts till date was due to a mixture of inertia and frustration at work. Inertia crept up and slowly overcame me with her persuasive "No time to blog" and "I need the time to sleep" arguments which later evolved to "You are too upset about work". In any case, I have decided to revive my blog because I am free from the shackles of work (temporarily I hope) and have officially executed the most exciting decision of my life - I quit my job without a job and have relocated to Hong Kong with Chris! Call it naviety or the power of love (though I seriously think the latter sounds rather cheesy); I feel in my bones I made the right decision and I must leave it to fate and heavens above to give their blessings.

In order to recap 2009, I must start with where I was at the beginning of the year. I was on a trip to New York City; back in my favourite city and this time I returned as a tourist with some spending ability. It was fantastic going back and it convinced me I must pursue my dream of living there one day. Unfortunately, I did not participate in the traditional countdown at Times Square (one of my life's dreams) as the met station had forecasted it would be the coldest night in the winter. My cousin did not think it was such a good idea being out in the cold so instead, I snuggled warm in the double bed I shared with my brother and fell asleep promptly after wishing Chris happy 2009.

The next few months ambled on pleasantly at work and I visited Taiwan in March. Chris and I had a very good week visiting Sun Moon Lake, Alishan and Taipei City and it is quite a shame that Alishan will be inaccessible for some time after Typhoon Morakot. It makes both of us feel rather fortunate that we visited Alishan and saw the pretty cherry blossoms and the majestic sunrise. It was worthwhile waking up at 4 a.m. to do the sunrise tour and we were lucky that there were no low-lying clouds to obstruct our view as well! I will want to visit Taiwan again to relive their warm hospitality and kindness as well as their great food. The pork pepper bun at Raohe Night Market is worth my air-ticket (or at least, I am sure I could gently persuade Chris to pay for mine just to eat the bun!).

In April, I brought Chris to Kota Kinabalu for his birthday trip. In my naivety, I did think it was possible to climb the mountain without any prior physical training. Chris was more realistic and we abandoned the climb before we boarded the plane and decided to stay at a mountain lodge where we could admire its beauty from afar instead. We sighed a collective breath of relief that we did not attempt the climb (especially me) when I saw its steep slopes. Surprisingly, Kota Kinabalu has amazing snorkelling sites at Tunku Abdul Rahman National Park. It was good fun feeding the colourful coral fish and I still have the tan lines to remind me of the day.

Work started to go a little downhill since March and was truly at the pits in July/August. I was literally in tears about the bad work situation and was tempted on many occasions to resign. I did not think the salary was worth my suffering and damage to my self-esteem and confidence. After much counselling from Chris and my friends; I decided I have to change my mind-set that work is really just about the money. It is time to be practical and forgo principles; be level-minded and remember that only family and friends are what matters.

Even with the bad work situation, Chris and I had a holiday and visited Cambodia in August over the National Day holiday. We visited Phnom Penh and the famous Angkor temples in Siem Reap. Though it was my 4th trip to Cambodia, the people are still as friendly and hospitable. However, I realised with sadness that economic advancement had crept up and Siem Reap has its own KFC now. I remembered that the first time I visited in 2004, my YEP friends and I lamented the lack of international fast-food chains in Cambodia.

This brings me to September when Chris was asked to relocate back to Hong Kong. I took a leap of faith and decided it was time for something exciting with my life (given that I am turning 27 this December and the last exciting thing I did was Student Exchange in 2003). I am still in the midst of my job hunt in Hong Kong; hopefully good news will come to me soon!

How To Pay For Your Utility Bills

2008-11-29T23:24:00.003+08:00

After my last depressing entry, I decided to do this post this funny e-mail joke I received. I am always one to reward quirky behaviour so I think both Jane and David get top marks for excellent customer service and persistence respectively! I had a good laugh with this so I hope you will enjoy it too...

Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,

You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,

Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thank you for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lieu of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

Recession, Restructuring And Retrenchment

2008-11-07T20:50:00.003+08:00

I had an inspiring Economics lecturer when I was in Hwa Chong. Mrs. Jennifer Tan ingrained in me the three important "I"s in Macroecnomics - Investment, Inflation and Interest Rate. For the uninitiated, a simplified explanation would be that the level of investment activity in the economy is driven by interest rates. In turn, the level of investment activity determines the economy's growth which would then drive inflation. To complete the inter-relationship, the level of inflation would drive the Central Bank's decision on setting interest rates as a monetary policy tool.

On Friday, DBS Bank announced its disappointing third quarter results at a townhall and said that they will cut 900 jobs in Singapore and Hong Kong as part of a streamlining exercise. Although this came as a shock to me (though DBS is not a government-owned bank, general perception views it as such given it is the largest South-East Asian bank by assets and job cuts are rare in civil service), I thought I should not be affected given I am in credit risk management and this IS a credit crisis afterall. Possibly getting axed would be the backroom operations and front office staff given the slowing volumes, I thought in my head.

To my bitter surprise, my big boss (my boss's boss) briefed the department the following Monday morning. Apparently, my credit department is overstaffed compared with similar credit departments in other banks. This made no sense to me because we have had long work hours and this is a sign of being over-stretched, not overstaffed. Well, the long and short of it was that there will be cuts at my end but the list of affected staff is still being prepared by HR.

This is my first restructuring exercise in my very short working career (it has been 3 years and a couple of months but it feels as if I have worked forever and I am ready to retire tomorrow). Though the list of laid-off staff is not out, morale is very low and there is an overwhelming atmosphere of melancholy in the office as co-workers pack their tables clean in anticipation of being axed. I try my best to continue working as normal and busied myself tying up loose ends so that whoever taking over would not have to figure out such stuff.

I think I have found the three "R"s in the work environment. In a recession, beware the oncoming restructuring exercise which will inevitably lead to a retrenchment...

Cebu, Philippines

2008-09-20T22:57:00.003+08:00

This was the weekend getaway to Cebu I had been waiting for after a mad September (though it has been less than two months, I know Lehman Brothers' bankruptcy feels like a lifetime ago). Midnight departure flight onboard Cebu Pacific Air and due to arrive sometime four in the morning. I slept fitfully on the plane; was jolted awake mid-flight when the plane lost altitude suddenly and there was a loud scream from behind. I said a silent prayer and hoped I would not be featured in an upcoming episode of National Geographic's Air Crash Investigation.

Thankfully, the plane landed safely and we got to our hotel. Slept till noon (actually I could sleep on but Chris got me out of bed for lunch) and went to a nearby mall for lunch and window-shopping. Walked around with Peixin and Zonghe; then went our separate ways as Chris and I went for a massage. Dinner at Mexican Moon Cafe with all of Karen's friends. It was quite a big group and we were roughly split by our choice of accomodation. There was Xinyi, Mavis, Ina, Yunlin, Zonghe, Peixin, Chris and I staying within Cebu City. The others stayed at Mactan Island's beach resorts (Plantation Bay and Maribago). It felt like freshmen orientation night as we went round the table introducing ourselves and how we met Karen. It became apparent to me that most of Karen's friends were known by the educational help we provided; I was her university nanny while Xinyi helped her passed A-levels.

There was an invitation from Karen to play Texas Poker at the casino post-dinner but Chris and I are fuddy duddy and went back to catch up on our beauty sleep. It was a good decision because Sunday was going to adventure-filled with a snorkelling trip to the sea...

Bright & Sunny Sunday For Snorkelling

We Board The Chartered Pump Boat On A Narrow Plank

Random Chit-Chat With Karen

It Was A Bumpy Ride As The Waves Were Strong

Everyone Prepares To Snorkel...

Ina & I Stay Onboard As Fish Feeders

(I could not snorkel because it was less than a month post-Lasik and I could not swim)

On The Trip Back, I Thought I Found A Comfy Seat...

On the last day of our short holiday (Monday), the girls and I found out that Havaianas was doing a roadshow at a mall... and we could customise a pair! That's us with our flip-flops after an hour of waiting in line for our turn to custom-make our Havaianas. Yunlin, Peixin and I all had the same colour combination because those were the remaining available colours left for our shoe size. It is not exactly my type of neutral beige colours; but I was happy to have part of my name on each slipper (Min on the left and Yi on the right) with two Swarovski crystals on each as well. I picked Xinyi's colours (hence the tick beside her) and I would have loved to have her colours... I think the royal blue sets off the gold straps very well! My pair came up to SGD38 (inclusive of the additional charges for alphabets and crystals). According to Yunlin, this is very good value because off-the-shelf Havaianas cost more and ours were customised with crystals and all.

After the exciting flip-flops shopping, we trawled the city of Cebu for the elusive fresh fruits stalls to buy some mangoes. We finally found the place after 45 minutes of walking (with a pit-stop at MacDonald's for coke float) and this is typical Minyi hassling the fruit lady for a discount. I think everyone was very entertained when I asked for a bunch of bananas as a free gift when the lady could not offer a good discount!

Thus concludes my exciting holiday to Cebu and it was fantastic because I rekindled lost friendships (Xinyi and I knew each other from Hwa Chong Students' Council but lost contact after graduation) and made new friends!

p/s: thanks to yunlin who took these pictures!

This Day Shall Live In History

2008-09-05T22:59:00.002+08:00

As the day I made the best decision in my life. Through fate and a special promotion package, I have finally had LASIK surgery for my eyes. Being the value-for-money (or cheapskate if you are blunt) me, I had wanted to had LASIK but always found the cost prohibitive. Until I met my girlfriend (an ex-JPMorgan colleague) Yen Lee for lunch and she told me about her LASIK surgery which was a special promotion package. $995/eye for Standard LASIK inclusive of the pre-operation check and three post-operation reviews before GST. Total cost would come up to S$2.3K for both eyes nett. I was estatic when I heard about it because that was very affordable and the doctor, Dr. Lee Hung Ming is quite good (as recommended by Yen Lee).

To cut a long story short, I gave Shiling the details (as we had both agreed to do our surgery together some time ago and were waiting to save up) and it turns out that Dr. Lee is quite famous in the LASIK circle and a few of Shiling's friends have had their surgery done by him when he was based in the public sector. previously before moving to Gleneagles Shiling was equally impressed with the promotional package price and we decided we will take the plunge and do it now instead of later. My LASIK ended up costing S$1K more than the normal promotion price because my myopia is considered moderately high (R:700; L:675) so Dr. Lee recommended that I undergo customised blade for better results (customisation cost me S$500 more each eye). Dates were set and the deed is done.

It is fantastic beyond words to describe how I can see clearly without my glasses first thing in the morning. I save so much time not having to mess about with my contacts when I get to work and I feel so good that I do not have to mess around with contacts when I get home. My eyes feel great and I love it that I can see well without the use of glasses or contacts! It was quite surreal the first couple of days after LASIK as I was not used to having perfect vision 24/7 and I always felt like it was time to take off my lenses.

I do not know if this is some strange behaviour bubbling up inside me but everytime I see someone in the streets with glasses - I want to tell them to go do LASIK. It is a life-changing surgery which only takes 20 minutes! Why go through the pain of wearing glasses when you can have perfect eyesight and never worry about dry eyes or taking off your contacts?

If you are interested to go for LASIK, the clinic I went to is Parkway Eye Centre. They are still having the $995/eye promotion so do not miss your chance to have perfect eyesight at a steal!

disclaimer: in case this sounded like an advertorial, Dr. Lee did not pay me to advertise his clinic. I am thankful for the lifestyle change that LASIK had given me and Dr. Lee is a very good eye doctor whom I would recommend since I have experienced it myself.

p/s: chris keeps insisting that LASIK is the 2nd best decision I made in my life (dating him was the 1st) but I would like to say that I do not think I made a conscious decision to date Chris; things sort of happened . So based on that, LASIK remains the best decision I made in my life. And September 5th shall live in history as the day.

The Travel Bug Bit

2008-07-27T11:57:00.003+08:00

Chris and I were discussing about travel plans for second-half 2008 and we did a recap of places that I have been to this year. Then, it dawned on me that I have been quite busy travelling this year.

February 2008: Chinese New Year Trip To Sydney

My family was very lucky to have confirmed our flight tickets during the Chinese New Year period and flew the new Airbus A380 to Sydney. Here are selected pictures from the trip:

April 2008: Bintan Lagoon Resort

I spent 2 nights at Bintan Lagoon Resort to celebrate Chris's birthday. No pictures from the trip because I did not bring my camera along. It was good spending time with Chris at the pool but the resort was 'closed' from civilisation and both of us were quite glad to leave after 2 nights.

May 2008: Tokyo Trip With My Cousin & Brother

I visited Tokyo with my cousin and brother for a week in May. My cousin is currently based in New York and visited Asia for a month. Since her flight back to New York would transit in Tokyo, she suggested a holiday and I brought my brother along (it was the start of June holidays). We visited Tokyo, Hakone and Kyoto in a short space of 6 days under my charge. I am quite glad we did not get lost too many times and we managed to nagivate with my limited Japanese and map-reading skills! Here are the pictures to share:

Shinjuku Train Station: My Cousin Janice & I

Odakyu Train To Hakone: Before Photoshop

Odakyu Train To Hakone: After Photoshop

Hakone Open Air Art Museum

Janice & I At Hakone Open Air Museum

Janice, Brother & I At Hakone Sulphur Springs

Kyoto Temple Framed By Leaves In The Afternoon Sun

Random Kyoto Temple In The Night

The Entrance Of Above Random Kyoto Temple

Kyoto Buddhist Temple

Kyoto Temple: With Photoshop Effects By Brother

Fleeting View Of Mount Fuji From Bullet Train

Acknowledgement To Wenyang: Our Tokyo Accomodation Host

The Answer

2008-07-05T23:44:00.003+08:00

After the recent spate of bad press in my life surrounding the lifelong mystery of weddings, marriages, break-ups and divorces; I finally have my answer. It bothered me that marriages did not seem to be forever, weddings do not happen all the time and divorces are actually quite common. I could not comprehend why this was so as this was not how I had construed commitment in my made-up fairy tale. The disconnect between what I thought it would be and what it could actually be; was least to say disconcerting and depressing. I had always looked forward to getting married (I think this had to do with my general observation that I had never seen an ugly bride and I would really love to wear the wedding gown with the long train and look like I am a princess; even for a single day). But it had seemed that maybe all I was looking forward to was possibly some years of bliss and then unhappiness and divorce. If so, what could I at 25 and some months old look forward to in my personal life?

My favourite TV show Sex And The City (and now movie) gave me the answer. Big's insecurity about the wedding (which ultimately led to him walking away from it) echoed how I felt; would marriage change everything that had been perfect and fantastic when the two had been dating? It was evident he loved Carrie to bits and he agreed to the wedding because he loved her. But I understand now that this is the worst ever reason to get married. You should not marry because she wants to get married and you want her to be happy - you should only marry if you really want to marry her. This makes perfect sense (but as you can probably tell from my amazement, I did not realise this simple truth). Marrying for the former reason means you have no good reason to get married; you sound really romantic; but in reality, you are killing the relationship because you are obviously not ready. If you are not ready, then the wedding will scare you because the commitment becomes very real.

Carrie and Big made up nearing the end of the movie and a very good question was asked; why did they want to get married in the first place when they had been having such a fantastic time dating all along? Big's answer was that because it felt like they were saying something if they did not. And Carrie confessed to her mistake of letting the wedding getting bigger than Big itself. It all fell together for me when Carrie read a passage from her book at the end about love and marriage; that it is all but a label. As she had sagely said, we should not let labels rule our lives, instead we should make up the rules. And really, some labels are best left in the closet while the label of love will never go out of style.

My label of marriage is now left in a small corner in my huge closet while I continue to wear my label of love. Perhaps someday, I will wear it but definitely not now.

I hate to say this but Chris seemed to be right (not all the time, but this time again); perhaps you will know to marry when the time is right. Like Big at the end, when he went on bended knee to propose with (no less) a Manolo.

Maybe Cinderella-endings does happen... sometimes.

Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours.

Reflections

2008-06-28T00:18:00.002+08:00

I cannot recall when I first learnt of this cycle but I knew it was always in this order -- you meet a good guy, date for about 2 years, apply for a HDB flat, get married, stay married for 2 years, have kids, work hard to support your HDB flat upsize dreams and your 2 children, watch kids grow up and turn rebellious, look forward to yearly family holidays, kids grow up, retire and finally stay home to take care of your grandchildren.

I hated this process. I am not content to live my life waiting to apply for my HDB flat and then wait get married and live my life to this cycle that everyone prescribes to. I always wanted something different and exciting; I want to travel and live abroad and meet interesting people and know their stories, take pretty postcard-resque pictures to send home as souvenirs and say hello that I am living an exciting life.

I have not given up on my dream of living overseas but that has been put on hold for at least another 2 years. However, recent events in my friends' lives have made me wonder about marriage. I have always believed marriage is for life; through good or bad and you should always try to make things work because well, marriage is for life and both had married out of love. But it seems I am sadly wrong and it disheartens me that reality is harsh and divorce is pretty common. This train of thinking led to me ask why do people get married in the first place if not out of love? If they do marry out of love, should they not try very hard to sustain their marriage out of love?

Many would say you would know you want to marry someone when the feeling is right. "When the feeling is right" is vague and when would be it that the feeling is no longer right? Or when would you know that the feeling just right enough or not right enough? Should there not be some event or factor that would tell you "Yes, I want to marry that person"?

I am tired now and cannot think. I feel very lost all of a sudden having a long-cherished notion in my library of beliefs taken out on loan and seemingly vanished into the vast world of harsh truth.

Yellow Yellow Dirty Fellow

2008-06-07T13:23:00.003+08:00

This was a hilarious picture taken at Jiexiang and Corine's wedding lunch. These are my NUS Photographic Society friends; Mervyn in the centre and his girlfriend , Candice. I love Mervyn's "hmmm, why is this guy taking my photo" expression and Candice's mega-watt bright smile. Most of all, I think Bee Thiam's (right-most guy) expression is priceless. I cannot tell if he is embarassed from being caught in the same picture as the lovely couple next to him or looking at something else! Click to enlarge the picture for a good laugh at my interpretation of what I think is running through Bee Thiam's head!

Hee Hee.

And here is our table picture. First row from left: Me, Chris, Nelson, Nicholas (the immediate President before me), Peixin, Zonghe and lady from Jiexiang's senior batch (I think). Second row standing from left: I have no idea who he is, the groom (Jiexiang) and the bride (Corine)!

First iPhone Blog Entry

2008-05-21T23:33:00.004+08:00

My cousin brought me my iPhone and it is the coolest phone on earth. Am posting this blog entry using it on my house's wireless network. The phone is so smart; I could swear it has a life of its own!

Regrets Are Important Not To Have

2008-05-09T23:17:00.002+08:00

Not a particularly insightful statement; but yet simple and truthful. Everyone knows that they should not have regrets in life, but how many of us can achieve it or even claim to say that they try not to have regrets when they make decisions? Or maybe it is just me who is always caught in difficult decisions which creates regret.

It dawned upon me tonight that the greatest pain in life is neither death nor break-ups. Yes, the pain of losing a beloved through space and time or simply irreconcilable differences is a painful and dreadful situation. But I think the worst of all is the immense regret; regrets of wasted opportunities or decisions that could have maybe changed the current situation (maybe a different outcome then would have led to a different now). Regrets of what could have been but will never be now. Regrets of taking things for granted and not realising that things are always changing and never constant. Regrets of chances when you had an opportunity to maybe set things right or salvage the situation but all is nought now.

Regrets are particularly painful because the human mind is centred on imagination. That was what made us survivors since we could think out of the box but that is also what hurts us the most. Regret is a vacuum which feeds upon itself and hurts when we imagine the countless what ifs and what if nots.

When you are caught in a difficult situation, remember to tell yourself "Sod it!" and follow your heart.

Barbie's Day Out

2008-04-13T00:03:00.003+08:00

It was the last day of my annual Singapore International Film Festival outing and I had two movies to catch; one was in the morning at eleven and another at seven in the evening. Since I had the entire afternoon free, I was out running errands and went shopping with Shiling. I was having a minor wardrobe crisis for work as my current collection was getting crummy. I spent $160 at SouthHaven in Wisma Atria and was eligible for double chances at the mall's lucky draw with my Citibank credit card. The nice lady at the redemption counter told me I could get a free make-over as well if I was interested. It was a quarter to five and still some time to seven; for the heck of it - I thought why not. It was a relatively short wait for my turn to get my hair done and this is me after getting my hair made over:

The hairstylists were not particularly innovative; I noticed that 8 ladies out of 10 had their hair curled (even those who had curls in their hair; they just had curlier hair after their make-over). I had contemplated having my hair curled when I finally muster the patience to grow it to an appropriate length. After this make-over session, I am quite sure that I will not be curling my locks anytime soon. I look like a Barbie doll and was quite uncomfortable with it since I felt quite like a Stepford wife. While waiting for my turn at the make-up counter, here is a picture of my two BFF since secondary two; Shiling and Peixin. We were catching the evening show at Lido and they graciously waited for me to get made over while catching up on the latest gossip.

Finally, the make-up was done and here is a picture which Shiling took with her new digital camera. The shot that the photographer took was rubbish as he posed me in quite an uncomfortable position.

Last self-portrait of the day. My brother saw me when I got home and said I look hideous with my curled hair; my housekeeper said I looked 30; and Chris summed it up best "You look like an SPG". Nope, I think curled locks just are not meant for me.

How Much Does Love Weigh?

2008-04-12T21:50:00.001+08:00

The letter paper weighs 8 grams and the envelope weighs 10 grams. Therefore, a hand-written love letter weighs 18 grams. Given the technological age in which we live, one can easily express love via SMS, e-mail or a phone call and there would be no need for the old-fashioned love letter. It takes effort to fold the letter, put it in an envelope, affix the correct postage and finally carry 18 grams to the post office for mailing. Therefore, if you ever receive a hand-written love letter, you know the love weighs 18 grams.

The movie is about two good friends, Zihua (Alaric Tay) and Ah Hui (Adam Chen) who suspect their wives are cheating behind their backs. Therefore, they devised a very cunning plot to write love letters to each other's wives to test if they would reply (which would be proof of infidelity). Ah Hui's wife, Michelle (Yann Yann Yeo) is a sassy, high-strung modelling agent who is in constant contact with hunky male models. Zihua's wife, Xiao Tong (Magdalene See) is a ditsy hairstylist who loves trashy romance plots and is a straight talker. Ah Hui writes trashy love letters to Xiao Tong filled with every conceivable sappy love declarations (Please help me! I have been robbed. What happened? Please return my heart.) You get the idea. Zihua, on the other hand, fills his love letter to Michelle with literary metaphors (I am not imagining how lovely you look now but thinking how lovely you look imagining the two of us being in love) and quotes from famous love literature.

18 Grams of Love is a brilliant romantic comedy (directed by Yew Kwang Han) which manages to be silly but not slapstick (which is important in my opinion) and at the same time, convey an important message about effective communication to the audience. The two couples got so caught up in their intricate web of love letters that they forgot why they loved each other in the first instance. The seemingly innocent love letters test took on a life of its own amidst the lonely wives' frustrations at their marriage and the jealous husbands' anger at their wives' supposed infidelity.

Eventually, the truth comes to light and the couples learn an important lesson in communication. Besides the central theme of communication, I think the movie highlighted that it is all too easy to forget why you fell in love in the first place. When one gets too caught up with life or your insecurities, you forget what made you attractive to your partner and vice versa. Sometimes, all it takes is a step-back to think why you fell in love and expressing your love for them in 18 grams.

How Has Your Day Been?

2008-04-04T00:05:00.002+08:00

Having changed my jobscope from an operational role to a credit analyst has been challenging. In the past, my work in an operational space was structured and clean - there were daily tasks which had to be done and mundane repetitive work which numbed my brain. For example, the endless photocopying, scanning and data input of ISDA agreements when I was in CDG; then the mountain of overlimits transactions for investigation and resolution. It was always the same story that I sent out requesting for help in the trade investigation - it was either a settlement excess, peak exposure excess, tenor excess, trade booked wrongly, overstated credit exposure due to wonky credit feeds or a mixture of the above. The repetition was boring but once you got the hang of it, you got faster at your work, could solve problems better and efficiency improves. It felt good to me at the end of the work-day to reflect that I had completed input of 3 ISDA agreements or had completed 200 overlimits. Maybe it is just a me thing; but I like the idea of having had a productive day (in terms of quantity).

As a credit analyst now, my work has become much more varied - I totally enjoy it. I have gained plenty of structured finance product knowledge and understand the credit thinking behind transactions. It makes me happy to know that I can speak intelligently about Chinese real estate and how it is a growing asset bubble; yet is fundamentally different from the US's real estate crash because Chinese real estate developers are not as leveraged. It is sustained by real demand due to China's rapid urbanisation and less of speculative demand and bad underwriting standards. I like it that I finally understand all those Master Confirmations agreements I used to input in CDG. In the past, they were some unknown agreement to me except that I knew they were for some form of iTraxx index trading (and I did not know what was index trading to begin with). Now, I know that iTraxx allows one to take on credit exposure to a basket of 20 credits grouped by their ratings (e.g. high yield = sub-investment grade or high grade = investment grade) so that the index can be a macro hedge against the general credit environment. Of course, I could go on and on about my work and what I have learnt (which I think I already had - but I could still rattle on).

Unfortunately, the sad bit about my work now is that it is not quantifiable (except some small bits of it). Therefore, I find it hard sometimes to answer "How has your day been?" My work day is full of scattered bits of work and credit analysis; so much so that sometimes, my day is just spent escalating issues, writing e-mails or surfing the internet to search for information. The daily sense of 'achievement' is not strong anymore (since my work is hardly quantifiable) but I take pride now in the knowledge I have gained. And not to forget; my truckloads of readings related to work that I have to catch up on. I am a true believer of job satisfaction (versus only monetary satisfaction) and am happy I took the road less travelled with Chris and my work.

The Road Not Taken

2008-03-14T13:58:00.000+08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost (1874–1963)

Ever After

2008-03-09T21:36:00.005+08:00

My earliest childhood memory was of reading my favourite story Cinderella. I loved that she overcame all odds to attend the ball, met the Prince, eventually got married and lived happily ever after. I vividly remember my awe as a young girl fantasising about the day when I would meet my Prince Charming. He would sweep me off my feet, propose and we would have this big fanciful wedding party. I never doubted the instituition of marriage and had always wanted to marry and live my ever after ending.

Being 25 and a quarter year old today, I realised that I was nowhere getting married while some of my girlfriends are getting married this year. Although I am not in a this-is-the-last-train-and-I-need-to-get-on kind of rush to get married, I wonder if marriage is sometimes over-rated. Two of my cousins who are married and have a kid each - one is getting a divorce because her husband developed a gambling addiction and owes loansharks alot of money. The other cousin has a husband who is a drifter and is going sideways in his career (read: nowhere). This makes me wonder about Cinderella and if she is still happily married with the Prince after all these years.

It makes me sad to realise that sometimes in reality, love really is not enough and the ever after every girl dreams of achieving is a poorly-made lie. I was discussing marriage with a guy friend who says that marriage is rubbish and people should just cohabit. I think that cohabiting is getting away easy; it's the equivalent of wanting to drive a car but without the legal obligations of having to register your car or pay road tax for it. I was wondering then does this mean that marriage is just a sham since you are now just signing on a piece of paper legalising your love for each other? What ever happened to marriage being an ever after?

Perhaps ever after is a milestone in every girl's life journey where she has found a man who is willing to make a honest woman out of her and recognise her as a legal companion at that point in time - ever after is not guaranteed.

小学生造句

2008-02-26T21:14:00.000+08:00

My brother shared this with me and both of us had a good laugh at the students' sentences. Thought I would post these excellent 造句 to share.

题目: 原来

小朋友写: 原来他是我爸爸。

老师评语: 妈妈关切一下

题目: 好 ... 又好..

小朋友写: 妈妈的腿 ,好细又好粗...

老师评语: 那到底是细还是粗？

题目: 陆陆续续

小朋友写 : 下班了，爸爸陆陆续续的回来。

老师评语: 你到底有几个爸爸呀?

题目: 谢谢....因为 ......

小朋友写: 我要谢谢妈妈,因为她每天都帮我写作业......

老师评语: 原来你的作业是妈妈写的!!!!!!!

题目: 难过

小朋友写: 我家门前有条水沟很难过。

老师评语: 老师更难过......

题目 : 天才

小朋友写: 我３天才洗一次澡。

老师评语: 要每天洗才干净~~

題目 : 一… 便…

小朋友写: 哥哥一吃完饭，就大便。

老师评语: 造句不要乱造...

題目: 又.....又.....

小朋友寫: 我的妈妈又矮又高又瘦又肥。

老师评语: 你妈妈......是怪物吗?

題目: 好吃

小朋友：好吃个屁

老师：………

題目: 况且

小朋友：一辆火车经过，况且况且况且况且．．．．．

老师：……………

Make History! Seek Your Fortune In Singapore!

2008-02-23T10:40:00.005+08:00

Dim Sum Dollies: The History Of Singapore

My first encounter with the Dim Sum Dollies was at the theatre production Little Shop of Horrors. When I saw the advert for The History of Singapore last December; I knew I had to catch it together with Chris and I am glad I did. I was laughing hard from start till finish as the Dim Sum Dollies re-told the history of Singapore in their irreverent dim-sum-dolly way. The first act was dedicated to Sang Nila Utama. He was very relak prince who loved to sit under the coconut tree and play music. In the end, his mother had to shame him into sailing away to discover new lands in order to do his country proud.

The next major act was about Sir Stamford Raffles signing the treaty with the Temmengong in the background while the Dim Sum Dollies donned their sarong kebaya and had a discourse about - you guessed it - Sarong Party Girls (or commonly known as SPGs; a label which my friend Alex inadvertently blurted when he knew I was dating Chris. To set the record, it was Chris who had first approached me and I do not solely date Whites!). The Dim Sum Dollies said the ang moh (pronounced with a slang annggg mohh) smelled better with cologne while the local men always smelled of kiam cai (preserved salted vegetables). Then they practiced speaking good English "How delightful!" and "Charmed!" (which they mispronounced as chamed - which means "damn it" in local Hokkien dialect). Obviously, as part of the SPG steorotype, they discussed about having that one chance to impress an ang moh and live a happily ever life in a foreign land. Chris was disappointed that Sir Raffles did not even get to speak a line but I told him that the SPG mentality from the British colonisation was definitely of more humor value.

It was a very good theatrical production because they had integrated current happenings into the re-telling of Singapore's history; spoofing the F1 races to rickshaw races, emphasising Singapore's free tax entrepot status in the past versus high GST taxes now and how integrating opium houses, gambling dens and brothels makes it an integrated resort!

The turbulent 60s when Singapore was forced to leave Malaysia was made fun of too. Hossan Leong (chopsticks) acted as Miss Singapore and sobbing how she can longer participate in Miss Malaysia pageant. How is she to determine her beauty when there is no one to compare herself with? Then the Dim Sum Dollies came on the stage and re-assured her that everything is fine; they will have a Miss Singapore pageant with different constituents. It was hilarious seeing Miss Aljunied, Miss Desker Road, Miss Geylang Lorong 4, Miss Toa Payoh decked out in the stage in their pageantry fineness (especially when 6 of them are guys wearing figure-hugging cheongsams).

This is a highly recommended production; I find it proud and heart-warming when Singaporeans make such fantastic shows where we get to laugh at our eclectic history mixed with quirky Singaporean habits and steorotypes. Like how they ended their final act; the Singapore Girl is truly a great way to fly.

SOP: Standard Operating Procedures

2008-02-19T20:53:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I wonder if there is something severely wrong with me. Or I just rub people the wrong way.

Why would someone want to spend 45 minutes debating whether to write a SOP? It was just a simple suggestion to write procedures for a trading program which we are going to implement. Yet, he wanted a debate on why it was necessary to write procedures and how it would be detrimental when Audit came around. I did not understand his argument; how could it be detrimental when Audit would want to see the procedures as comfort that we are documenting our processes?

I relented and said we could make it an internal document not meant for release to Audit. He did not give up; picking another argument that it was pointless because we did not have procedures for the other bits of work we do. So it went on and on; me trying to explain my suggestion and him slamming each explanation. It was getting nowhere and there was another colleague in the discussion; I did not want to waste everybody's time insisting my way (even though I knew I had made a valid suggestion). So I gave up.

I stated that it was merely a suggestion and if he saw no point in me doing it - let's just forget about it. I do not want to be pushing for a suggestion which he saw no value in.

He said: "Ok, let's do it."

Honestly, I think I must have offended him in some way. Working with him is like trying to slam my head into a solid wall of bricks.

Why would someone be so un-cooperative and difficult? I cannot comprehend and am beginning to miss the great people that I used to work with in JPMorgan.

We Are Their Heaven

2008-02-02T23:39:00.000+08:00

My ex-colleague and career mentor, Linda, recommended me this book, We Are Their Heaven; Why The Dead Never Leave Us by Allison DuBois. Allison is a medium who can communicate with the dead (the book calls them people who have crossed over) and the book chronicles her experiences helping the living receive messages from the nether world.

The book has stories about spouses who have died before their partners, about children dying before their parents, about parents dying before their children, about murdered victims and about suicides. A common message which the dead would want to communicate to the living is to live happily because we are their heaven. The dead never leave us because they want to see family and friends whom they love live life happily after their passing. They may not be physically around to communicate but they do partake in our happiness.

Allison devoted a section on suicides; people who have died from suicide often do so due to chemical imbalances in their brain. They experience so much emotional pain that they see death as the only solution. Often after death, their spirits gain much more clarity than they were alive. Although they express regret and grief at their loss of lives, their spirits never felt freer.

An interesting concept which Allison brought up was how the dead do sometimes communicate with us or enable events to unfold in such a way that creates happiness.

I am leaving for Sydney on 05 Feb (Tuesday) onboard the Airbus A380. My family was on the waiting list since December and we had given up all hope of spending Chinese New Year overseas. Even the Gold90 morning radio show reported that all tickets out of Singapore during Chinese New Year had been fully sold. Somehow, the travel agent who had put us on wait list decided to submit our request again and we finally got our tickets two weeks ago! It was truly by sheer luck that my family and I are leaving for Sydney; I believe people in my family who have crossed over are looking out for us.

2008 Will Be A Better Year

2008-01-01T19:32:00.000+08:00

I decided to spend New Year's Day in Hong Kong for 2008. From my limited short-term memory, this was my first time spending New Year's abroad. Tickets from Cathay were pricey at $600 but since I had free accomodation; I thought what the heck. It would be nice to give myself a treat shopping in Hong Kong. Most importantly, I would get to spend some time with Chris and celebrate the 2008 countdown with him.

Weather was cool at around 20C the night I landed. However, my luck did not persist as there was a cold monsoon wind sweeping through Hong Kong from Siberia. Temperatures plunged over the days and got to 10C by New Year's Eve. Chris and I had wanted to head out around 11 p.m. to Central (or somewhere) for the fireworks. In the end, I was quite happy staying home (we had gone home to rest before thinking of heading out at 11 p.m.) watching Season 2 of Heroes and we gave up the idea of braving the cold and the crowds for the fireworks. We had a very expensive KFC delivery meal (HKD 100 = SGD 20), watched Heroes as we had dinner and was generally riveted by the episodes. Midnight crept upon us and we watched the live countdown telecast. The fireworks at IFC was not as fantastic as expected; so we were both quite glad we stayed home instead.

Most of my days in Hong Kong was a blur of shopping. We went to Festival Walk and I contributed to the Swedish economy through H&M. They had a pretty good sales going with 50% on selected items. I was lucky that they still had the small sizes so there was a good sales selection. A grey checked trousers I bought cost only HKD 150 (SGD30)! Very good value-for-money indeed. Chris got me a pretty pair of white Puma trainers for gym and I took a snap of us in our shoes. He bought his pair of white Reeboks a couple of weeks before and I must say he does look quite cool wearing them with jeans.

The blurry picture with me wearing Chris's shades was self-taken on the bus-ride from Stanley Market. The bus was really in a rush making its way down the winding roads. Stanley Market was very nice and we had a good time shopping and looking at the quirky stuff for sale. The most memorable was our big breakfast of ham, bacon, sausages, eggs, and toast at a cafe. I was very happy after the meal because it was all the breakfasty foods that you could think of eating. It was really yummy because I was almost half-way through it before realising that I have not taken a picture!

These pictures are of the other yummy food which I remembered to take a picture before beginning to eat. We had 许留山 in Mongkok; they had really delicious melt-in-your-mouth sweet mango desserts and drinks! On New Year's Eve, we had wanton mee at Lan Kwai Fung; the wantons were freshly made and we had a satisfying brunch (we skipped breakfast because I usually overslept till 10 a.m. and Chris had to 'persuade' me out of bed by telling me he's hungry. To my defense, I can only say that it is soooo easy to sleep on and on when the temperature is at 12C and you are nice and warm under the covers).

On New Year's Day, we went horse racing at Shatin. I saw a different side of Chris today; he is really good at picking horses! He does actual analysis of the horses' previous race records, their trainer and their jockey. Myself; I am just a vanilla punter and looked at the odds. I figured that it was not worth my time betting on the favourites since the payoff was tiny and placed bets on the horses with odds that was third from the bottom. Unfortunately, my risky strategy did not pan too well. In the end, Chris told me to pick a horse for the last race based on a name (without looking at the odds). I did as told; I picked the horse 'Singing Diners' because it gave me a happy image of diners singing merrily at a pub and another horse 'Congratulation'. Congratulation's jockey was shown wearing pink with a V and that was why I picked it. Plus, it had a good name; Congratulation!

When the odds for the last race was shown, I was shocked. Singing Diners was the hot favourite and Congratulation was a moderate odds horse. I decided to bet a win on Congratulation (rationale: higher earnings if it won) and a place on Singing Diners (a place would mean I get a portion of the pay-out if the horse came in 1st, 2nd or 3rd). The race started and Singing Diners led the pack. Mid-way, Congratulation accelerated and it was in top place! I was yelling my lungs out when I saw this; finally my horse was going to win! It was a neck-to-neck finish as another horse which I did not bet on closed the gap with Congratulation. When the results was finally published on the LED board, I was estatic. My horse won! Even happier, Singing Diners came in 3rd! This meant that both of tickets had winnings to collect! Although the win was insufficient to cover my loss from earlier races, I had alot of fun and the loss was only $20. So that explains my very wide smile in the picture. Chris had good fun too; he picked a winning horse from an earlier race and placed another 2 in separate races. We decided that we will do horse racing in Singapore on New Year's Day 2009.

It was a good way to start the year and I hope 2008 will be a better year.

It's Time To Count What I Have

2007-12-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

I was browsing my blog entries and realised I have not written positive stories during Christmas (except for posting a couple of Calvin & Hobbes cartoon strips in 2005). After having such a terrible 2007 (the absolute worst in my life of relative positive luck), I think it is time for me to count what I have and be very grateful that I can breathe and live another meaningful day.

First and foremost, I have learnt to live a happier life. For this, I am grateful to my family who gives me comfort and showed me that ultimately it is family who is the most important in life. This is especially apt for my brother, who gives me his encouraging hugs when I was depressed studying for my CFA and of course I have to thank him for his endless wit and well-meant criticisms of my bad study schedule. I have learnt a big lesson in living happily from Chris as well; who always listens to my woes and grumbles, who is patient with my quirky behaviour and sometimes blonde moments and showed me that faith and perserverance does overcome obstacles. I am also grateful to fantastic friends who stick by me through the bad times and care about me deeply. The windy and bumpy road of 2007 has not been easy but it made me realise alot about friendship and support.

I am happy that I have my health. I may not be the healthiest person alive with my wonky left shoulder but I am happy that I have a body who does my bidding well. I promise to take better care of it in 2008 by exercising regularly and having a balanced lifestyle with lots of therapeutic yoga. I know that health should not be taken lightly and proper insurance coverage is very important from a real-life experience from work. Especially for cancer treatments and operation costs. What does not kill you may actually do you in financially if you do not have proper insurance in place.

N.B. Not that I have not appreciated insurance in the past, but I think the impact of insurance is finally leaving a deep imprint in my brain. It may be a probability game but when you do strike the jackpot by getting really ill, the payoff will be worth the small premium paid.

I am really glad that I have my job. The learning experience has been fantastic doing non-operational work and I am gaining a deeper appreciation and understanding of the banking and finance industry. I am grateful for open doors when I needed one and supportive, non-political back-stabbing colleagues. On a pragmatic note, I am also pleased with my bank balance every 26th of the month.

Finally, I am glad I believe in a higher power and have absolute faith that someone up there will take care of me and guide me along the right way. It is important to me understanding our purpose in life and this has become even more acute with the many deaths this year. Spiritual enlightenment and spiritual happiness is something I will work towards every day next year.

Quarter Of A Century Old

2007-12-09T23:00:00.000+08:00

Each time as my birthday approaches, I like to reflect on what had happened in the past year. (I think of it as doing a yearly review. When 31 December approaches, I like to think ahead and figure out what I would like to do the next year.) As I turn quarter of a century old in 2007, there is alot to reflect on. I think 2007 will always be a year of loss to me. I lost my maternal grandmother, then my sister and finally my paternal grandmother. Death used to be a scary and alien concept to me; but now I have accepted that there is nothing to fear and it is just another stage of life. Indeed, I think I can understand a little better why Buddha advocates that life is transient and that we have to cultivate our inner spirit instead of hanging on to life's mundane desires. As the Chinese saying goes, "生不带来，死不带去" (what you do not bring to life when you are born, you do not bring along in death).

Every cloud has a silver lining. The only bright spot among the deaths is that I finally realised that I do not have to be bound by my past unhappiness. I found someone who appreciates and loves me for who I am; and I am grateful that he showed me I have a choice and I can (and have) choose to be happy. I am happy he showed me that love can be unconditional and giving; that two people can be happy together even in long distance dating. I am happy too that I took a leap of faith and gave the relationship a chance even when it did not look very promising initially. He showed me that things can work when both parties put in efforts and love does not have to be overly complicated or dramatic. It is just a simple but endearing emotional bond two people have.

I made new friends, got a better-paying job with better prospects, took a much dreaded CFA exam with very little preparation (albeit completed the 2 papers with a hell of a headache afterwards) and generally survived a really bad year with alot of help from my friends and family.

It's been a year full of hidden corners, winding roads and surprises both good and bad. I think I would like to remember 2007 as a year where I lost but also gained valuable life lessons which I can take and improve my remaining three-quarters or less of a century.

Partridge In A Pear Tree & Kampong Fish

2007-12-08T21:33:00.000+08:00

It is pre-birthday celebration today with my brother and boyfriend (who popped by town for the weekend). Since he was going to spend Christmas in Manila with his family, I decided to surprise him by buying mantinee tickets to "A Crazy Christmas". I wanted him to enjoy a local theatre production and spend the afternoon as our pre-Christmas celebration. It was a very good performance indeed and I especially loved it when they sung "12 Days of Christmas". They brought up a good point; what on earth is a partridge in a pear tree? Fear not, I have googled the web and a picture is found below for your reference:

I am sure to be annoyed if my true love gave me that for Christmas. Thus, the singers proposed new lyrics to the song and gave it a Singaporean twist by wanting to have 1 chance to win the top prize for 4D, 5 Tiffany rings and some bak kwa thrown in for good measure. I told my boyfriend I only got his first Tiffany so he still owes me 4!

Before we went for the production, we visited Kampong Fish Therapy at Novena Ville who had fishes eating our dead skin. My brother and I read about it on 8 Days and decided I would try it on my birthday just for the fun of it. Well, as you can clearly see, my legs were not very popular with the fishes! It was quite ticklish initially having the fishes nibble on my legs but once you get over the feeling, it is good fun and rather relaxing.

I am proud to say the fish therapy does work! My legs and even more for Chris's rough ankles felt baby soft and smooth after our 40 minute session.

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend - Or Not

2007-11-17T15:53:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when you think you know what you are doing, you actually do not...

<<色，戒>>

Mrs. Mak from Lust, Caution thought she was in full control of the situation by being a sex bait to assassinate Mr. Yee. When the lies get too close to heart, things get out of hand. Faked emotions which were acted for the task suddenly became real. I especially liked this song she sang to Mr. Yee at the Japanese restaurant because the lyrics captured the essence of the movie:

天涯呀海角

觅呀觅知音

小妹妹唱歌郎奏琴

郎呀咱们俩是一条心

爱呀爱呀郎呀

咱们俩是一条心

家山呀北望

泪呀泪沾襟

小妹妹想郎直到今

郎呀患难之交恩爱深

爱呀爱呀郎呀

患难之交恩爱深

人生呀谁不惜呀惜青春

小妹妹似线郎似针

郎呀穿在一起不离分

爱呀爱呀郎呀

穿在一起不离分

Ultimately, the cloistered circumstances dressed in fake riches, the lonely and empty emotional health of Mrs. Mak from sacrificing her virginity for the greater good and the 6-carat pink diamond ring shattered her fragile made-up world.

Sometimes, diamonds may not really be a girl's best friend. Mrs. Mak finally believed Mr. Yee's love for her was true with the gift of a 6-carat diamond ring and she gave the mission away (which led to her death). To be fair, I do not blame her foolishness - I think I would have done the same. Mr. Yee was very convincing with his line:

"I'm not really interested in the diamond. I am only interested to see how it looks on your finger."

I think the loneliness of coping with the accumulated emotions which were threatening to over-run into reality fell apart at that moment and Mrs. Mak caved and gave up her act. In her made-up world, I think she finally decided to accept Mr. Yee's feelings were true and chose to protect his life. It was a very tragic end when Mr. Yee had to sentence her execution. I guess love does not conquer self-preservation.

Sometimes when you think you know what you are doing, you actually do not - life plays you out and takes an unexpected turn.

Three Deaths In A Year

2007-10-30T15:14:00.000+08:00

My paternal grandmother passed away due to a sudden heart attack in the hospital. I know she has been suffering from her deteriorating health and she is very old at 90. However, I was still hoping against hope that she would live past this year.

Unfortunately, Heaven has other plans for my granny. I hope she is better now wherever she is. I am sure my sister will take very good care of her.

This has been the absolute worst year in my life - 3 deaths in a year.

My maternal grandmother in March, my sister in May and now my paternal grandmother in October.

When I lie awake at night, I wonder at the futility of life.

The Shadow

2007-10-21T20:57:00.000+08:00

Your shadow is a part of your daily life but it is discreet. You see it only in the day under the sun but hardly notice it as you carry on with your life's daily tasks. You do not see it in the night; but know it will be with you tomorrow when the sun rises.

It has been 5 months since my sister's death and I think she has become a shadow in my life. I think about her in quiet moments and wonder if she is doing fine wherever she is. The pain of losing her has slowly ebbed but I cannot help feeling sad that she has taken this lonely road to end her life.

Sometimes, when I wake up in the mornings or ruminate in the nights; I still find it hard to believe that my sister is really gone. I think my brain blocked out the painful memories and when I convince myself she is really gone do I remember the pain.

I take comfort in my daily routine with my shadow and try to remember she is happier now wherever she may be.

Life Is So Unpredictable

2007-10-05T23:11:00.000+08:00

An ex-colleague from JPMorgan has passed away due to a sudden heart attack. She collapsed during trading hours (she is a Front Office salesperson; head of the Trading Desk in fact) and never made it past the night even as she was on life support. She was only 51. Although I did not know her well, I have heard many good things about her and I feel sad that she had gone so suddenly.

I cannot imagine myself going in this fashion without a chance to say my goodbyes. I can imagine how her family and friends must feel with her sudden death. It reminded me of my sister's passing; and how I never got to say a proper goodbye. That really bothered me because I always felt there must have been something I could have done or said which could have changed events.

So many sudden and tragic deaths had happened this year. Reminds me of what Linda said; that some people live and go shortly in this world but they have served a purpose and have a message for those who know them.

Life is so unpredictable; that is the biggest message that I have learnt. Never take things for granted and always be happy. And give a hug to the people you treasure.

I Carry Your Heart With Me

2007-10-02T21:02:00.000+08:00

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it (anywhere I go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)

I fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet)

I want no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)

And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

~E.E. Cummings

The New Cow Theory

2007-09-21T21:26:00.000+08:00

I watched the movie Someone Like You (Ashley Judd, Hugh Jackman, Greg Kinnear) and was tickled by the New Cow Theory. If this theory holds true, every lady in a relationship is doomed to be dumped when they become "old cows" and their boyfriends seek green pastures. Below is a summary from Psychology Today on the theory:

"Judd's character cobbles together her cow theory from snippets of real science reports and bits of biology books. Its prime proposition takes shape when she reads that bulls refuse to copulate with a cow they have already mated with, even when researchers disguise the old cow with the scent of a new one. New-cow theory posits that all males will leave all females eventually because their biological imperative is to find the new cow. Voila, all relationships are eventually doomed, bull-based balm to dumped damsels."

Jane (Ashley) becomes obsessed with this theory and tries to blame her bad luck in relationships based on this theory (i.e. there is nothing wrong with her that is causing men to dump her; rather it is men's bestial nature that compels them to seek "new cows"). Eventually, she snaps out of her obsession and realises that not all men continuously strive for greener pastures. A very touching scene was when her sister had a miscarriage (after trying very hard to get pregnant with fertility treatments) and her brother-in-law said lovingly "You are the most beautiful woman in the world" at the hospital ward to his wife who looked like crap after crying.

The movie made me realise that sometimes it is all too easy to wallow in self-pity and sadness which makes you forget the big picture. After Jane snapped out of her heartache, she immediately saw who had been loving her all along:

Jane: I mean, c'mon! I was comparing men to animals!... Which, let's face it, sometimes they are. But sometimes, they are not. Sometimes, you open the barn door, or the bedroom door, or the hospital room door, and you find the real thing. You find a guy that can sit with you when you're at your absolute worst, when your face looks like a punching bag and you're elbow deep in Kleenex, and he can still look at you, and tell you that Ray is not the last man you're ever going to love.

And that we always need to have faith that good things will happen to us.

Eddie: It's over. Why can't you just let it go?
Jane: I can't.
Eddie: Why?
Jane: Because I was happy. Because if this theory is wrong, men don't leave all women, Eddie, they leave me.
Eddie: I know it hurts. I know. It's so hard to believe that something that wonderful can ever happen to us again.

Celebrating Singapore

2007-08-09T20:20:00.000+08:00

In celebration of Singapore's 42nd birthday; I found a collection of poems which was published in celebration of Singapore's 30 years of nationhood back in 1995. These poems are written by 13 year old students from Nan Hua Secondary School and I think some of you can recognise them. Here's to our aspiring literary creations my dear friends!

Foreword

Celebrating Singapore is not just a celebration of nationhood, it is also a celebration of language. In this collection of poems, all written by Secondary One Express pupils as part of their Literature course, the pupils have tried to embrace a variety of poetic techniques in their writing. Through reaching out into images, and finding the language to capture and express what they see and feel, the pupils are exploring new and exciting dimensions in writing. As they mature as thinkers and writers, pupils will gain greater skills and insights; their powers of expression and the pleasures experienced in using languauge well, will be beyond measure.

Many more than thirty pupils contributed poems for this celebration of thirty years' development, growth, learning and experience. It was impossible to include all, but we hope the poems contained within this little book perhaps best represent facets of Singapore as observed through the keen eyes of thirteen year olds. Some poems are reflective, some a little poignant, others capture the humour and pleasure of everyday life. Whatever you find between these pages, we hope you enjoy the experience.

~Mrs Carolyn Grainger - Literature Teacher, Nan Hua Secondary School 1995

My Homeland

A Country that is clean and green
filled with green trees everywhere.
Standing upright with their lanky straight backs
bestowing upon the lakes a majestic image.

The shoppers' paradise, ever so crowded
with busy people rushing to sales.
Always packed with people who are so.....
Kiasu!

The King of fruits - a mouthwatering sensation.
The aroma of durians drifting through the market place.
The sight of it makes you stare with envy.
Taste it, try it; it is so delicious!

The waxy petals of the orchid
brilliant and regal on tall stems.
Jewels precious diamonds
glittering image after image
assails my senses.
The familar chicken rice
welcomes me.
My mother country,
Singapore.

~ Yap Eng Yee, Ivy

My Singapore

A little island, set in the sea,
Is glittering and bright as anyone can see.
A tiny nation that's packed with love and more,
I'm proud to say it's my dear Singapore.

Just take a walk down a Singapore street,
It is where friends and strangers will meet.
Though it's a settlement covering a small area,
It's actually a paradise without a barrier.

The faces of Singapore - always transfixed in ecstacy,
The smiles and the warmth - all set in reality.
The sights, the smells and the people so carefree,
As always, living in perfect harmony.

Singapore really is a most wonderful place,
Full of surprises, to be found and embraced.
Singapore! Singapore! My desired home,
It is my abode where I am never alone.

~Kong Wanpei

The Lantern Festival

The last Lantern Festival,
I celebrated with my lover.
She was as beautiful as the moon
in the sky.

We walked together,
holding a lantern each
in the moonlight.
Candles were lit,
twinkling stars in the sky.
The burnt smell
of the candle smoke,
as if we were having a barbecue.
Lighted lanterns were
as gorgeous as the moon.
Screams and laughter of children
smiles on grown-ups' faces
showed the happiness, fun
and the joy of the festival.
But this Lantern Festival,
My lover is gone.
My heart is full of sorrow.
I let my tears drench my sleeves,
and the Lantern Festival,
will never be the same again.

~ Shen Peixin

Tropical Night

The night replaces the sun,
Twinkling stars light up the sky...
That's where our bright moon lies
Casting a warming hue over the evening's fun.

Our exotic night life begins in Chinatown,
Which is famous for its late night bazaar;
Selling Chinese antiques... pots and jars
And also handmade hats resembling crowns.

Walking briskly along the soft-lit pathways,
sharp eyes feasting on richly vividly sights...
from mystical Chinese temples to primitive cock fights
these are scenes which make Chinatown gay.

As time slips by quietly away,
Singaporeans retire to their beds,
The night is like broken jade;
Magnificent but slowly dwindling away...

~Yeow Minyi

Style of Singapore

No matter how small our island may be
The secret of success is what you can't see.
How could a fishing village so many years ago,
Become a country the whole world knows?

Just walk onto the bus and see,
the different races chatting happily.
Work, childhood, school or even food,
there is always much to cheer up our moods.

Now walk along the river and view,
our ancestors' heritage proud and true.
Because they were willing to sacrifice,
therefore we live such wonderful lives.

Food here is cheap and nice,
Singapore is the FOOD PARADISE.
Curry, steak, just name your choice,
we'll try our best to make you enjoy.

Celebrations are held throughout the year,
from Easter, Christmas to Chinese New Year.
Just let yourself have a happy heart,
you'll enjoy the fact you played your part.

Peace, peace is what we believe,
And no wars around is our greatest relief.
Rejoice, rejoice that you live here,
The little place, with least to fear

~Elizabeth Pang

What Number Are You?

2007-08-04T10:22:00.000+08:00

You Are 1: The Reformer

You're a responsible person - with a clear sense of right and wrong.

High standards are important to you, and you do everything to meet them.

You are your own worst critic, feeling ashamed if you're not perfect.

You have uncompromising integrity, and people expect you to be fair.

At Your Best: You are hopeful, honest, and inspiring. You bring out the best in humanity.

At Your Worst: You are intolerant, judgmental, and picky.

Your Fixation: Resentment

Your Primary Fear: Being corrupt.

Your Primary Desire: To be good.

Other Number 1's: Al Gore, Martha Stewart, Gandhi, Celene Dion, and Spock from Star Trek.

What Number Are You?

All Good Things Must Come To An End

2007-08-03T17:43:00.000+08:00

I have resigned from JPMorgan effective today and will serve my one-month notice till August 31, 2007. Since I have taken zero leave from my 2007 annual leave allocation, I have plenty of leave for encashment. Which is good for me; since I plan to go on a week's holiday and rest my poor, broken mind.

p/s I know it is broken because the other morning, I used my ezlink card to tap myself into office. For a moment, I was wondering how come this is not working? Then I realised with shock I had used the wrong card. This has never happened to me in my entire working career; which led me to conclude that my mind is so exhausted, it has stopped functioning properly. In addition, I am starting to repeat myself and stop in mid-sentence not quite remembering what I had said earlier.

It pains me to resign from JPMorgan; I still remember the good days when I was offered a temp position after graduation and at $6.50/hour (before CPF) - it was like a big break for me. June 20, 2005 was an exciting day for me; I knew I had my foot in the door and I will make my opportunity good in JPMorgan and prove myself.

My plan sort of worked out; although the temp to perm conversion took longer than I anticipated. Luckily, I had a good manager in CDG who valued my work and saw the potential in me. I know she fought hard for my permanent headcount and for her hard work; I am willing to give it my all for her. Unfortunately, she left the bank shortly after I became permanent and it took 10 months to find her replacement.

I transfered to another job function within Credit Risk Management Operations as a fresh start to my 1.5 years in CDG. Decided that I needed to move beyond the documentation space and learn more about banking products and systems. It was hell of a move; I never did such long hours (7 a.m. - 7 p.m. and then back home for dinner and continue again from 9 p.m. to 11 p.m. I had to work on the weekends too to catch up with work). It felt like I was working non-stop. I only slept, worked, had my meals, showered and travelled to and from between work. My social life is non-existent and I had totally lost contact with reality; trapped in my little bubble of overwhelming work.

Initially, I consoled myself that the long hours were due to my new jobscope which I was unfamilar with. Plus, the hubbing migration was going on which meant that there was alot of remote training going on in addition to my daily work. So I bore with it and marched on.

The months zipped by and there was no additional resources for my team. Both my team member and myself raised our hands for additional coverage (there was only 2 of us doing Asia Ex-Japan so if one member was down, the other person had to do everything which was not possible). Higher management (i.e. not my direct manager) said "Yes, yes, we will do something about it."

The months flew past again and whatever crap they had proposed did not materialise due to "timing issues". All these while, I have repeated again and again that our team is drowning in work and we NEED the additional resources. Nothing was done. All higher management said was "We are working on it". I do not fault my direct manager because I know she is on our side. She has been repeating the same stand to higher management that we need additional resources but it fell on deaf ears.

Enough is enough. I love JPMorgan for its wonderful people (excluding my current crappy higher management) but I think some issues are beyond my manager's control. The bad workload has taken a physical toll on me mentally and making me bitter. I was complaining about work to my boyfriend and being so unmotivated and tired at work; it was scaring me. Therefore, I decided it is time to leave.

Luckily for me; good work always shows for itself and one of the Credit Executives I supported in Sydney headhunted me to join his team. He had left JPMorgan back in May and was now in Singapore heading the Treasury Credit Risk team. He got to know I wanted to move from my ex-CDG manager and was happy to invite me to his team. He gave me a good pay increment; promotion and 24 days of leave.

I accepted and my last day at JPMorgan is August 31, 2007. They are making me serve one month's full notice and encashing my leave. My other colleague is leaving August 17. I hope my departure (and my colleague's) serves as a big wake-up call for higher management that they need to take us seriously. I am leaving for the better pay and better jobscope; but ultimately, I think it was the bad management that drove me away. I felt that I was working my life away for a management that did not care about my hours despite me raising this many many times. So all I was doing was to work my life away while higher management look good without increasing headcount and still "coping" with the work.

I want to thank everyone who has been patient with my incessant complaints the past months. It is time to look forward to another good beginning where management values good work.

Death Makes You See Life In A New Light

2007-06-10T23:02:00.000+08:00

As most of you probably already know, my sister has passed away a month ago on May 09, 2007. She committed suicide by jumping off 21 storeys at my cousin's HDB block the fateful Wednesday morning.

My sister, Min Loo is going to turn 18 this August 19.

Her death made me see life in a new light. I always used to think that I was a pretty independent girl and to be honest; not really close to my family. Her death made me realise that this is not so; I finally realised that family is really important because they are the ones who ultimately care most for you and whom you have responsibility for.

It was surreal claiming my sister's body from the morgue with my Dad. Seeing my sister lying in the coffin, watching her get pushed to get cremated. Sometimes, I wonder if my sister regretted her rash decision and sometimes I wonder if I could have helped prevented the tragedy.

But somehow, deep in my heart, I know she is happy wherever she may be and is looking out for my family in whatever way she can. It hurts to lose someone so dear in such an inexplicable way; but life has to move on for the living.

I thank my sister for showing me that life is what you make out of it; you can choose what you want to do and live your life happily. That is exactly what I choose now; I want to make my family happy and most importantly, myself happy so that I can live on well for those close around me.

Everybody's Changing

2007-05-09T12:12:00.000+08:00

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

You're gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

Quarter Life Crisis

2007-05-05T15:09:00.000+08:00

It is a cloudy Saturday afternoon today. I thought it was going to pour but it did not. Am home today catching up on work and feeling incredibly bored as I wait for my Lotus Notes e-mail to be sent.

My mind started to drift as I waited; I remembered a news article I read last week. It was on the Forum page and it was about Quarter Life Crisis. "That's me!" I thought when I read the title.

The writer mentioned that she felt lost and am clueless about what to do with her life. We are at the stage where we no longer have the luxury of time in making mistakes. Her phrase stuck in my mind "No U-turn". We are at the point that we have to be focused on our goals and if we make a mistake, there is no time to turn back.

This is frightening; considering that we have always felt young and carefree, having all the time in the world. The quarter life crisis makes me think I have to do something with my life right now or never.

With the long crazy hours at work, moving to New York City suddenly seemed very appealing.

世上只有妈妈好

2007-03-30T17:38:00.000+08:00

世上只有妈妈好
有妈的孩子像个宝
投进了妈妈的怀抱
幸福享不了

世上只有妈妈好
没妈的孩子像根草
离开妈妈的怀抱
幸福哪里找

My maternal grandmother passed away after being admitted into the hospital on Monday night. She died of acute kidney failure and there was nothing the doctors could do to save her. She was ferried back home in an ambulance and died shortly after the oxygen mask was removed.

On my way home from work, I kept having flashbacks of the times I spent with my granny. How she loved KFC and we would spend my holidays going to the library in Bukit Merah and having KFC after. How I had asked her how long she was going to live and she said "100!" proudly. The many holidays that I had taken with her to Indonesia and China with my mother. All the hot afternoons when I had cosied up to her chatting and playing cards. How I had picked clothes for her when we went out.

My siblings and I took the late bus back to Bidor for the funeral. I burst out crying when I saw my granny's fragile small frame lying on the stretcher. She looked so peaceful and it was hard to believe she had died. If not for my mother's and my auntie's bloodshot and teary eyes, their loud sobs and broken spirits, I would not have believed my granny had passed away.

My granny had a grand funeral; I think even by Singapore's standards. My aunties and uncles spared no money and ordered a huge 2-storey mansion, a Mercedes Benz (complete with chauffeur) and two servants. In addition, they specially ordered a bank and a gold jewellery shop for my granny. This is because my granny loved counting bills and buying jewellery when she was alive.

My cousins thought of a picture slide show presentation for my granny on her last night. There was a live band playing <<世上只有妈妈好>> which of course made my mother and aunties weep. It broke my heart to see pictures of my granny flashing on the projector and hearing my mother cry her heart out.

I am praying for my granny to be happy wherever she is. I miss her.

March Madness

2007-03-10T02:50:00.000+08:00

It is now March and it has been a mad start to 2007.

I have had 14h workdays since I started in my new department in January. I enjoy the work because it is far more challenging and I gain more product and business knowledge. I enjoy solving issues and the sense of achievement when I get to the bottom of the overlimit. I do not even mind being scolded by bad-tempered traders. It is just unfortunate about the long working hours and that I have not had a weekend for myself since. Not even during Chinese New Year because I was supporting Australia and I had to work on Monday and Tuesday.

I feel that I do not have time to breathe and spend time with myself. It is just work, work and work everyday (weekends included). My favourite pet phrase became "I have a backlog"; which depressed me because I worked so hard and yet I still cannot complete my work. Hopefully, things will get better by March because my managers are looking into this resourcing problem.

Besides work, there has been interesting stuff going on in the office. I have had lunch with my #1 shoe fan last Thursday. I was glad to finally have a chance to know him better as a friend. He is humorous, witty and in general a really nice guy. I had a small crush on him back then but realised now that he has a girlfriend. Still, I think he is a good friend to have and I would want to know him better.

Then there is another guy who has been calling me every night. He is from work and based in Hong Kong. It is really strange how well we hit it off and have pretty similar interests. The way he knew about me was really strange too. He actually found out about me from a colleague and saw my picture from last year's Dinner & Dance. So we had a chat on SameTime (my company's internal chat program) and just did not stop since.

I have a happy feeling.

Somewhere Only We Know

2007-02-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me?
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Death Is An Empty Feeling

2007-01-01T00:22:00.000+08:00

At last I am leaving:
in rainless skies, a cool moon...
pure is my heart
~Senseki~

Death is an empty feeling. When we read about death in the papers, watch it on the television or hear it on the radio; we sigh and shake our heads on the needless loss of lives. Then the feelings pass and we carry on as if nothing had happened.

Death is an empty feeling. One appreciates the beauty of life and the joy of living when death brushes past but does not overtake. My cousin passed away in a car accident in the wee hours on Christmas day this year. She was on her way home after a party with some friends and was in the back seat with her boyfriend. Nobody really knew what happened or who was driving; but the SUV crashed into a tree and my cousin and her boyfriend were flung out of the car. She had 6 broken rib bones and a punctured lung. She passed away in the hospital 5 hours later without regaining consciousness. Her boyfriend had extensive surgery but died 3 days later. My cousin was 26.

Death is an empty feeling. This is especially when one remembers such accidents are often read in the papers but never realising it could happen to us. Nobody knew who was driving, if the driver was drunk or something had happened to cause the accident. All they knew was that looking at the extent of the crash; the car was probably travelling at 160km/h and that my cousin and her boyfriend had not put on their safety belts.

Death is an empty feeling. As I recollect how my cousin had visited me every holiday when we were younger and I had stayed at her home in Cheras, Kuala Lumpur. Then we slowly drifted apart as we grew up. But in my heart, she is always the cousin who had played and shopped with me every holiday. She is now the cousin who had met a violent end to her young life without reason.

Death is an empty feeling. I will forever remember to put on my safety belt and never to speed.

Death is an empty feeling and life is transient.

Great Expectations

2006-11-16T22:19:00.000+08:00

I had a fantastic year-end review with my Global Manager (who is from the US) and my local manager (who has just joined the team end October). They appreciated my hard work and praised me for my initiative, critical thinking and analysis skills. They liked the fact that I was meticulous, had quantified the business improvements I have made in my work and my constant questioning of how processes can be made more efficient. They told me I had great potential and graded me "Exceeds Expectations".

[Note: There are 3 types of grading; Below Expectations (read: You are not doing so good); Meets Expectations (read: Your work is acceptable) and Exceeds Expectations (read: Well done!)]

Just to give the background story before I continue, I have been without a manager since March 15. My team of 3 (including myself) have been on "auto-pilot" mode for about 7 months until my local manager joined end October. During these 7 months, I expanded my workscope from the low-end photocopy and scanning to performing actual documentation input. Unfortunately, since I had started off doing the low-end stuff, I still had to do the low-end tasks together now with the higher level processing. This translated into longer hours since I had more responsibilities. I do not grudge this since I had requested for the expanded scope and viewed it as career development.

The only thing that I was not too happy about is that nobody does the scanning in my absence. Nobody. Everyone thinks I am the default "scanner". So when I went on my mandatory 5 day leave, I had a ton of scanning to complete when I returned. Since there was a scanning turnaround of 5 days upon receipt (which everyone knows), that was obviously breached. My team members only did the document input into the systems and conveniently left the scanning to me when I returned. That was not very nice I thought. It was a mad rush for me to complete scanning the documents when I returned from leave . One colleague even commented, "You must be very busy scanning the documents after you return from leave!"

I nearly fainted when I heard that. They can make such comments and yet not cross their minds that THEY can scan too in my absence? [In fact, they can. The scanner sits with a free computer terminal which anyone can access.]

So that triggered me to look for other opportunities. I was getting pissed and felt it was not really fair they picked parts of the processing cycle to cover in my absence and conveniently ignored the unglamourous parts.

Therefore, I looked. Looked out of the bank. Looked within the bank. It just so happened that the bigger department I sit within (Global Credit Risk Management) was hubbing the Overlimits Monitoring team into Singapore. So I applied. I would still be reporting to my same local manager and sit within the same bigger department. The only change would be in my job function within GCRM and I would fall out of my Global Manager's reporting line (because I report to him functionally). [Like how my Global Manager joked; I was still within the family and just going to work for the step-sister]

I got the job. The interview was the easiest I have ever been. The Head of GCRM simply explained the job functions and immediately offered me the position. Apparently, he had a good impression of me and commented during the interview that I was energetic. I have no idea why energetic is a compliment. My colleague thinks it's the Japanese way of expressing enthusiasm. Apparently, enthusiasm counts for alot in the corporate world. [Note: If that is truly the case, I am in for a good time. I think most of my friends have commented I am very enthusiastic about stuff I do!]

I know I should be estatic. Some part of me is. Excited that I would start a new job function (no more scanning and packing archival boxes!). Excited that I would be part of a pioneer team. Excited that this new position would expose me to more people in the Credit space. Excited that I think this is a good career move upwards.

On the other hand, I feel like I have let down my Global Manager. He was very encouraging during my review and asked that I stay on to develop myself. He felt that I am a very bright person who is dependable, responsible and always on top of my work.

I feel like I betrayed him. I know this borders on being silly because I have to take charge of my career. I cannot possibly be staying in a department just because I feel indebted or obligated. But it is just how I feel. I always feel very indebted to people who think highly or have great expectations of me. Maybe it is just me who feels overly grateful for appreciation.

I think we will still remain friends even after moving job functions. He met up with my ex-manager for lunch and dinner this trip even though she has resigned from the bank. That was a good sign.

I think a trip to the temple will ease my guilt. I need to pray for good luck in my new position too.

An Inconvenient Truth

2006-11-03T01:26:00.000+08:00

"You can't make somebody understand something if their salary depends upon them not understanding it."

~ Upton Sinclair

I knew global warming was a problem but never this serious with such severe consequences. Now all the crazy weather patterns the world has been experiencing make sense.

Watch the film. Visit www.climatecrisis.net to find out more.

Save the earth. Global warming is NOT a myth.

What I Would Really Like For My Birthday

2006-10-28T00:47:00.000+08:00

Just the other day, I was asked: "What would you like for your birthday?"

[In case you didn't know, my birthday is on 09 December. Which makes it about slightly a month away.]

I paused and had a long thought about it.

A shopping voucher so that I can buy some new clothes? Some jewellery? A bottle of perfume? A new bag? A new wallet? A new pair of shoes? A new watch? A new mobile phone? A new digital camera?

The list was endless. But of course, everyone has a budget. Furthermore, buying shoes, bags, watches, wallets and everything else (except vouchers) carried a serious risk. I have very different taste in my stuff so what you pick may not be what I like.

Then I remembered. I saw it during a long Friday lunch break with my colleagues.

Colour Flash Holga Starter Kit

It was invented in Hong Kong way back in 1982. Photography was a big thing back then in Japan and China. In order to let enthusiasts enjoy photography - the Holga was created. It was a minimal and inexpensive camera using medium format 120 film. It was so cheaply manufactured that it has light leaks. Yet, its very fatal flaws have turned it into a cult camera because of the dreamlike pictures it can create.

Take a look here: http://shop.lomography.com/holga/

I thought it was somewhat insincere to state explicitly what I liked for my birthday. So I wished quietly to myself that a Colour Flash Holga Starter Kit (retailing at SGD 114.72) would be really great.

Just in case you fell in love with the Holga camera too, you can check out this website on how to order the camera: http://www.lomographyasia.com/shop/?showproduct=123

NB: Do not be confused with the Holger Starter Kit. The Colour Flash Holger is slightly more pricey but has better features.

In case you do decide to surprise me with the camera as my present, do drop an anonymous note on the chatbox. It would not be nice hawking multiple birthday sets of Holga on my blog.

Surgery

2006-10-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

I left the office at 11 p.m. the night before and arrived at the hospital bleary-eyed at 5:40 a.m. in the morning. The clinic receptionist had told me to be at the hospital at 6 a.m. for registration.

The Day Surgery Centre was deadly quiet. It only opens at 7 a.m.! [insert expletives of choice]. I was hungry, thirsty (I had to fast since midnight the day before) and cranky.

I slept fitfully on the hard chairs outside the Day Surgery Centre till 7 a.m. The nurses at the hospital kept asking me the same repeated questions.

"What is your name?"

"What is your doctor's name?"

"Do you know why you are here?"

"Are you allergic to any medication?"

I was wheeled to the operating theatre shortly after registration and the questioning. I felt naked (I think this is partly due to the fact that I was literally naked) like a lamb to the slaughter. The nurses at the hospital were very kind though. One of the nurses at the theatre tucked me in warmly beneath the blankets.

I was in the theatre minutes before 8 a.m. They transferred me from the bed to the table. The table was nice and warm because it was heated! I was ready to sleep. The heart monitor electrodes were stuck on me and my anaestetist, Dr. Ng came in. I was in for a rude shock. I had expected a Nip/Tuck anaestetic mask where you simply breathed and slept. Unfortunately, I got the needle treatment instead. The needle was poked in at the back of my left hand and the doctor commented that her daughter has bigger hands than mine. I think she had a hard time finding a vein.

My gynaecologist, Dr. Tan marched into the theatre 10 minutes after 8 a.m. She comforted me that everything will be fine. The last thing I heard before I went out was Dr. Ng telling the nurse, " Dear, I told you I want the oxygen mask." At least the anaestetic worked. I was out in 2 seconds after it was injected.

I woke up groggy and remembered someone telling me about a picture of my polyp. Strangely, I did not feel any pain but only on my left hand. Damn the needle.

I was out of the theatre in an hour and I continued my sleep in the day surgery ward. By noon, I was ready to go because I was seriously hungry. The nurse checked me out and passed me my bill and a picture of my polyp.

My Admission Wrist Tag & Pictures of the Polyp (the top right picture is the top of my uterus)

The Photos Taken of my Polyp during Surgery

An Itemised Bill (with even different glove sizes for each surgeon)!

Pronounced as POL-IP

2006-09-19T22:18:00.000+08:00

Polyp (noun): (1) A coelenterate, such as a hydra or coral, having a cylindrical body and an oral opening usually surrounded by tentacles. (2) A usually nonmalignant growth or tumor protruding from the mucous lining of an organ such as the nose, bladder, or intestine, often causing obstruction.

I am due for surgery after my coming period. I have an endometrial polyp in my uterus.

You can read more about the condition here: http://www.mamashealth.com/women/endopoly.asp

It started very innocently as brown spotting after my last period. I ignored it, thinking that it was just dried leftover period blood. Being the optimist (or perhaps, simply in denial), I thought it was nothing serious and due to hormonal imbalance. I had some spotting earlier on in May and June and that turned out fine after a week of antibiotics from the GP. However, this spotting persisted and gradually worsened.

Yesterday, there were blood clots in my pee (which I only see when I have my period). The spotting was continuous and my period was not due for another week. Somewhere deep in my heart, I knew my body was sending me a message. But I am only 24. What could be wrong with me? Plus, I have a full schedule this week and there is no time for the doctor. So I decided to wait until when my next period is over. If the spotting continues, I will visit a gynaecologist.

Last night, I dreamt of my insurance agent. I woke up this morning and decided that perhaps this cannot wait. So I visited the gynaecologist today. I searched the internet and selected the first female doctor I found.

She performed a hysteroscopy and found the endometrial polyp. It looks something like this:

The white arrow is pointing at the polyp. It is a small grape-like thing somewhere in my womb.

It is a minor surgery to remove the polyp and I will not be cut. However, I will be anaesthetised. There will be no hospitalisation and I will be out of work for 3 days. But this is going to cost me between $2980 to $4420; depending on the complexity of the procedure.

I am still having trouble pronouncing polyp and thinking how to translate this in Chinese to my parents .

Picture courtesy of www.droid.cuhk.edu.hk/.../ultrasound/us_24.htm

Have You Ever Had That Feeling

2006-09-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

"I just came over to say I love your pair of red shoes."

Out of the blue, an ang moh VP walks over from the other end of the same floor to where I was. I was in the midst of sorting some files and was taken aback. Blushing, I mumbled a "Thanks!" and gave him a bright smile.

"You are a shoe person aren't you? But I still prefer your red shoes."

"Aiyah, he's probably married already. He is quite old you know!"

"He wears a pink tie? He's gay!"

Being the perennial optimist, I tried not to let these comments get me down. I felt a connection and his interest in me. It's not very often that a guy (or any person) will openly walk up and compliment my shoes. He did not give me a gay vibe and he did not feel married to me. I liked the way he smiled and the easy-going, confident charisma he exudes. He was not particularly good-looking (unless you have a thing for baldies) but I felt something naughty in him that was irresistible.

I met him a few more times in the elevator and along the corridor. Then, he relocated to a higher floor.

My mind thought that was the end of an office affair that could have been. Until Blondie.

Thinking back, it was quite amazing how I spotted him among the crowd. I was on the second level overlooking the stage. Near the end of the concert, I scanned the crowd and saw a familiar shiny bald head. (Note: There were quite a few baldies that night because Blondie is a 70s rock band and the lead singer is 61.) I squinted in the darkness and was positively sure it was him. He had the naughty smile and was thoroughly enjoying the concert. He also had a lady partner next to him. Well, I thought, "At least we know he's not gay."

I decided to be brave and messaged him on the office chat messenger. He confirmed that he was at the concert. We started chatting. He's 38 and not married. He said I was smart and stylish. He likes opinionated and passionate women. He has a dry and sarcastic sense of humour. He loves Black Adder.

Maybe the next time I feel brave again; I will ask him out for lunch.

The Fourth Bear

2006-07-30T02:04:00.000+08:00

Thank you everyone who has contacted me on The Fourth Bear. I'm happy to say that my colleague's husband was on a business trip to London and has bought me a copy. This means you can stop searching the bookstores and buying the book for me as a surprise (If you have, you can still give me the book. I promise to be polite. You will not be deprived of my best "I'm pleasantly surpised" look).

My favourite author and my kind of humour:

UK Hodder Cover, July 2006

Ever wondered why Mummy bear and Daddy Bear slept in seperate beds?

Ever pondered over the real reason Goldilocks was in the bear's house that morning?

Ever racked your brains over the thermodynamic impossibilties of simultaneous porridge pouring?

You did? Then hold onto your porridge spoon for:

The Fourth Bear
A Nursery Crime

'...However many photos you see of the Gingerbreadman, nothing can ever prepare you for seeing him in the flesh. He was a dark brown colour the shade of mahogany and at least six foot eight inches tall with heavy limbs and a large head. His jacket was open revealing several large pink icing buttons that ran down his chest. He had large glace cherries for eyes the size of tennis balls’and a huge dollop of red icing for a nose. His mouth was two slivers of licorice, the corners of which rose into a smile as soon as he saw them. 'Alan!' said the Gingerbreadman with a deep yet friendly tone, 'What a pleasant surprise! And most timely, too. See here, I have bred a new rose which, in honour of your work to cure me of my criminal tendencies I take great pleasure in naming after you. Behold, Mandible's Triumph! ...'

The Gingerbreadman: Psychopath, sadist, genius, convicted murderer and biscuit is loose in the streets of Reading. It isn't Jack Spratt's case. He and Mary Mary have been reassigned due to falling levels of nursery crime, and The NCD is once more in jeopardy. That is, until a chance encounter during the Armitage Shanks literary awards at the oddly familiar Deja-Vu Club lead Jack and Mary on the hunt for missing journalist Henrietta 'Goldilocks' Hatchett, star reporter for The Daily Mole. She had been about to break a story involving unexplained explosions in Herefordshire, Pasadena and the Nullabor Plain; The last witnesses to see her alive were The Three Bears, comfortably living out a life of rural solitude in Andersen's wood.

But all is not what it seems. How could the bear's porridge be at such disparate temperatures when they were poured at the same time? Was Goldy's death in the nearby 1st World War themepark of Sommeworld a freak accident? And is it merely chance that the Gingerbreadman pops up at awkward moments?

But there's more. What does a missing scientist with a terrifying discovery in subatomic physics, a secret weapon of devastating power, a reclusive industrialist known only as the Quangle Wangle and Colonel Danvers of the National Security all have in common?

Published on the 10th July in the UK and the 24th July 2006 in the USA.

It's not found in Singapore yet. If you see the book in a store, please drop me a message! I have been waiting a year for this book.

Why I Gave My Number

2006-07-29T01:26:00.000+08:00

One of my guy friends chided me for giving my number when I was not the least bit interested.

"Please Minyi - if you are not interested, don't give your number! You are giving him false hopes!"

I understand his point of view but personally I find it very hard to say no. Can you imagine my reply when he asks "Can we be friends?"

"No."

This seems too brusque and rude. That was why I gave my number. Plus, I like to give him the benefit of doubt and assume that he could be asking for fun and would never contact me. If this is the case, then at least he can have a happy memory that he got my number. Instead of a traumatic experience that I rejected him flat out. Not very nice on his ego. I can imagine the humiliation if I was the one who had asked a guy for his number and he rejected me! (Which I had done once when I was in Secondary Three. Luckily for me, he gave me his number.)

I kind of expected him to call or drop me a message within a few days if he was going to contact me so when 5 days passed and there was no news; I was estatic. I honestly thought he had forgotten all about me.

Unfortunately, he messaged me on Monday. It was an ordinary message asking how I was doing. I took 3 days to reply his message, hoping that perhaps he might get the hint that I'm not really interested and am really busy. My reply was simple and curt - "Hello! I'm doing fine with work."

He replied me 2h later. With an apology. For replying late as he was in the middle of work. He also asked whether I was giving tuition that night. This message really made me feel bad. I replied 3 days late and did not even apologise for my late reply.

It has been 3 days since and I have not replied to his second message. The same guy friend told me to ignore his messages. He thinks I'm giving him further false hopes by replying.

I'm thinking I'm too lazy to be nice anymore.

On The Way To Tuition

2006-07-17T21:23:00.000+08:00

I cannot believe this.

Someone tried to pick me up at the bus-stop this evening when I was on my way to tuition.

I took 186 to give tuition this evening at Bukit Timah. As I alighted at a bus-stop along Farrer Road to change bus, I sat there waiting for 174 impatiently. Then out of nowhere, this guy alighted from this bus and sat at the far end of the same bench I was on.

"What's that you are wearing on your wrist?"

Then the conversation started about how the orange band I was wearing on my wrist was a blessing I obtained from the Myanmar Buddhist temple.

The conversation continued into asking me where I worked at (answer: investment bank - I did not not reveal the name of my company), how long I have worked and so on.

Finally, the dreaded question came:

"Can we be friends?"

It has always been a personal policy of mine to reward and encourage brave and out of the ordinary behaviour. So as a point, I always give my number when a guy stranger like this asks even though he may not be very good-looking (granted on the condition that he does not give me the impression that he's a psychopath).

And so I did.

I hope he doesn't call.

On The Bus To Work

2006-05-31T21:47:00.000+08:00

It was an ordinary day to work as I ran for my bus in the morning. I found an aisle seat near the exit. The bus was pretty packed that morning because it was a single decker instead of the usual double-decker (that's how well I know Bus 10's schedule after 11 months of work).

The bus was quiet that morning (as it is all the mornings) except for a slight commotion when a Filipino maid was trying to settle down her two young charges on a seat. As I was day-dreaming about nothing in particular, I stared into space at the seat next to me across the aisle.

I heard voices.

"What are you reading?"

A Caucasian guy (aisle seat) asked the Caucasian lady (window seat) sitting next to him. The conversation began. They had a pleasant conversation about the book (I couldn't see the title properly but the book cover looked like those you'll see of John Grisham's). Apparently, the lady had read the book before in French and she was now reading it again in English. Then the conversation progressed to what the guy was doing in Singapore (he was on a 3 month work assignment here).

"I'm getting off here now."

"So am I."

They alighted the bus. As my bus drove off, I saw both of them crossing the road together and chatting happily. I have a feeling they would exchange their numbers and meet up again.

What a romantic way to meet your partner.

The Rest of Gold Coast

2006-05-28T15:34:00.000+08:00

Just got back from giving tuition and was wondering what to do on a rainy afternoon...

Remembered that I have not completed compiling my Gold Coast pictures:

Our hotel was a few hundred metres away from the lengendary Surfers' Paradise so we went to the beach every day after we came back from the theme parks. There really isn't much point trying to swim because the waves were really strong so we spent most of the time just frolicking in the waves. This sounds really silly but the sea is really salty. I should know since I drank alot of sea water and my eyes stung from the salt. A warning for future travellers: DO NOT WEAR YOUR GOGGLES. I wore mine because silly me was hoping wearing my goggles would help reduce the sting in my eyes. Sadly, I lost my favourite pink goggles to the Pacific Ocean the second day. The waves were very strong when we were at the sea such that when it crashed me onto the beach, I felt for my goggles on my head and it was gone.

Movie World was the second theme park we visited:

Didn't really enjoy Movie World because there was just alot of roller coaster rides and people dressed in Warner Bros movie character costumes. So there was Scooby Doo, Austin Powers, Batman and Justice League. The only nice thing I bought was the Gingerbread Man soft toy. Isn't it cute? In the end, I wasn't too keen to try much of the roller coaster rides so we just walked about in the hot sun. My siblings and I were so bored that we went to buy a pack of Harry Potter's playing cards and sat down to play Dai Tee while waiting for our coach to pick us up.

The last theme park we visited was my favourite next to Sea World. Dream World had lots of cool non roller-coaster rides and some animal attractions. We also had alot of fun taking silly pictures:

This was the best ride at Dream World:

I was on an adrenaline high the whole day.

Here are some of the animals (real and cartoon) at Dream World:

On one of our free days, we also visited Q1- the tallest residential building in the world:

As you can tell, there was a spectacular view of the Gold Coast beachline. It must be a very good feeling to wake up each morning to such a wonderful view.

Lastly, some pictures I took on the plane home:

Boring Life

2006-05-20T10:32:00.000+08:00

My life is officially boring. I have nothing planned for the next few weeks except going to work on weekdays, tuition on some weekday nights and tuition on the weekends. I have nothing to look forward to.

The next "big" event in my life is on 01 June - when I officially start my gym membership at Fitness First. First time ever paying $150+ per month to join the gym. I would have never paid such an exorbitant amount in the past but now with work taking up so much of my time... Exercising makes me feel better about myself. Makes me feel I'm doing something positive for myself.

Work is depressing. Had lunch with a co-worker (different department) yesterday. She will be taking CFA this December. Her rationale - she needed to have some back-up in case she was made redundant. Everyone in JPMorgan seems worried about being made redundant. Worried about seeing more Indians from Bangalore coming here to Singapore to learn our work and bringing our jobs away.

So much fear and uncertainty. It's depressing.

Thinking of learning either oil painting or ceramic art at Tanjong Pagar CC. But oil painting classes are only on Saturdays. Which means I have to travel... on a Saturday all the way just for oil painting...

Perhaps this can be my back-up. Be an oil painter.

It's Only Talk

2006-04-22T22:35:00.000+08:00

Director: Ryuichi Hiroki

Running Time: 147 minutes

2005

Three Lovers - three different identities. Yuko is 35, single, unemployed, manic depressive and divides her time between a variety of men - her university friend, a self-confessed pervert, a manic depressive gangster, her cousin, who is separated from his wife and dumped by his lover. Ryuichi Hiroki explores the essence of "being alive" and "continuing to live" in this tragi-comedy.

This movie disturbed me. Yuko is a lady who lives alone in a studio apartment in Tokyo's Kamata Town which in her opinion, "is without an ounce of chic". The movie starts off with her moving into town and then walking around taking pictures and exploring the area. As a sign of having been working for too long; the first thought that came into my mind was: "Doesn't she have to work? Ah... must be a weekend." Then as the movie progressed, I realised that she did not have to work because she was living off her parents' insurance pay-out.

Yuko has an online diary which she posts pictures she takes during the day and gives a commentary on each picture. She loves to bathe in a bathing house right below her house at night too. Her day is filled with random activities like hanging her clothes to dry on the roof:

Like what the synopsis stated, she spends some of her time with some very strange men too. Like her university mate Homma who is impotent and believes that he will be cured when he meets a girl he truly loves; an internet guy "K" who is a married pervert; Noburu, a depressive gangster who contacts Yuko after reading her online diary. That's them at Tyre Playground - an entire playground made from tyres with a huge Godzilla (made of tyre as well, of course!) as the main attraction:

This park seemed like a really nice place. If I ever visit Tokyo, I shall make it a point to visit Kamata town. It felt like a really nice place. Very laid-back, small town kind of feel to it.

The movie really struck a chord with me when Yuko tells Homma that her friends slowly distanced themselves after she was warded into a psychiatric hospital. She was admitted due to her severe depression after her parents' death (she makes up their cause of death to be from an earthquake; in reality, they died in a fire. She made up the earthquake story because she felt it was rather lame to have died in a fire. Also, her lover died around the same time in the sarin gas attack). She continued that she does not really need friends anyway; no one can accept her manic-depressive behaviour so it's better for her to be alone. But beneath her strong willpower to carry on with life, I could hear her inner cry for human comfort and love. Which was why this movie left me very disturbed.

Then her cousin came to visit. Soichi is a drifter who is separated from his wife and dumped by his Tokyo lover (which was why he crashed at Yuko's place). He did not seem like a particularly interesting character until Yuko's manic-depressive behaviour surfaced. He cared for her and slowly brought her out of her depression. To alleviate her loneliness, he even brought her some goldfish:

And brought her to a night bazaar:

His patience and tender care was really surprising to me given that my initial impressions of him was of being a casanova. Yuko was obviously very touched by his actions too. To her, perhaps this was the long awaited human touch she so coveted.

Soichi left Kamata to return home eventually after Yuko recovered from her depression. He decided to return home and make up with his wife so that his marriage will not go to waste by ending in a divorce. But it is apparent that he loves Yuko as he gives her a passionate kiss before he drives off in his cool blue retro car.

Yuko decides to visit Soichi after some time. Just as she was leaving for the airport, she receives a call from her uncle. Soichi has driven himself off the pier in a drunken stupor; after signing his divorce papers. The movie ends with Yuko crying aloud in the bathhouse. The cries of a lonely woman who has lost a loved one. Cries of a lonely human in a world which does not understand her and cannot accept her. Cries of a person who has to continue to live just for the sake of living.

I could not really understand why Soichi had to commit suicide at the end. Shiling pointed out to me that perhaps, this was the director's way of hinting that Soichi had a greater depression problem than Yuko. Plus his was more dangerous as he keeps it hidden.

This movie screening was really memorable too as the director Ryuichi was present for the screening:

All pictures courtesy of www.rottentomatoes.com

Moving On

2006-04-08T20:50:00.000+08:00

My boss has moved on. She has resigned from JPMorgan and is now working in the bank opposite Capital Tower. In her words, it was a career progression and it's something good for her development. I am now officially without a boss until the new manager is hired. It sounds like fun but it's not. I can't even requisite stationery now because there is no approving manager. Plus, I won't even know if the new manager will like me. At the very least, I knew my old manager liked me enough to fight for my headcount.

My cousin's husband has moved out of New York City. After leaving everything he had in Kuala Lumpur 4 years ago, he has resigned from NYC. He had grown sick of the city and his lack of career development. My cousin is in a dilemma. Should she drop everything and return to KL too? She cannot do so. She aborted her Corporate Finance career in KL to be together with her then boyfriend in NYC. She has managed to apply for her US Green Card and gave birth to her daughter. She has a family to support back in Malaysia who needs the US dollars. She has switched her job to one that is 5 days (previously was a 6 day position). Her career looks promising now as she is in an IT corporate solutions sales position. Just when she has settled down, her husband called it quits. She cannot leave NYC. She is alone now without her husband and daughter.

I want to move on too. My cousin told me of an opening in NYC. A client of her company, a mid-sized European Bank was looking for a person to fill an entry-level compliance position. The pay is USD 50,000 annually with a month of leave and full insurance coverage. Unfortunately, a support staff from her company (who was outsourced to this bank) has taken this position. I have sent my cousin my resume which she will circulate for me.

When can I move on?

Beer Scam

2006-03-24T23:08:00.000+08:00

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs".

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.

For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

Gold Coast Day 1 & 2

2006-02-26T13:02:00.000+08:00

Day 1: Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary

I saw koalas, kangeroos, native eagles, a tribal Aborigine dance and almost got eaten by a python.

Australian wildlife at its best.

Day 2: Sea World

In case you can't read the print:

"Finning is the process of cutting off the fins of a shark and then dumping the rest of the body at sea, unused and alive. This wasteful and often cruel practice exists as a result of the fact that most shark fins are valuable and most shark meat has limited commercial value, and can be problematic to store.

Finning commonly occurs in high seas fisheries and in small onshore fisheries in tropical countries, where fishermen are being encouraged by shark-fin buyers to target local shark populations."

If you don't like the idea of someone chopping off your hands and throwing you alive handless into the ocean, please STOP eating shark fin's soup. Don't console yourself that the shark is dead anyway so it doesn't make a difference. Make it a point to educate the rest of the table why you do not support shark killing and how cruel it is.

"Many shark populations are in danger of extinction.

With a slow growth rate, late sexual maturity and reproducing only small numbers, sharks are vulnerable to exploitation and recovery may take decades.

Sharks are an important part of the marine ecosystem because they ensure that fish populations maintain strong gene pool by removing the weak and sick."

Save the sharks. Stop eating shark fin's soup and buying shark related products.

I spotted a cool-looking Shark Bay keeper.

Random pictures from Sea World...

最浪漫的事

2006-02-24T21:20:00.000+08:00

背靠着背坐在地毯上
听听音乐聊聊愿望
你希望我越来越温柔
我希望你放我在心上
你说想送我个浪漫的梦想
谢谢我带你找到天堂
哪怕用一辈子才能完成
只要我讲你就记住不忘

我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢变老
一路上收藏点点滴滴的欢笑
留到以后坐着摇椅慢慢聊

我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢变老
直到我们老得哪儿也去不了
你还依然把我当成手心里的宝

~赵咏华

Hear it at: http://search.tom.com/searchmp3.phpword=最浪漫的事

Winning TOTO

2006-02-10T01:16:00.000+08:00

I won TOTO!

I had bought my TOTO tickets on Wednesday when I went out for lunch with my colleagues. Bought $3.50 worth of Quick Pick (the 50 cents kind) and some of my favourite numbers.

I treated my department to lunch today and walked past the Turf Club. I was sharing an umbrella with my boss and causally asked if she has bought her TOTO for that night. She said her mother usually buys TOTO and she does not. I told her she should; since it's an annual $10 million draw. A once-in-a-year chance to be an instant millionaire!

She replied that perhaps we shall buy on our way back after lunch.

I totally forgot about it on the way back. Luckily, my boss remembered and both of us walked together to the betting shop.

Bought 2 system 7 tickets while my boss bought 1. Initially, I had wanted to just buy a ticket but was too lazy to keep the 50 cents change so decided to buy 2 tickets to make it $7 instead.

I won on those two tickets!

Won $60 on one ticket (3 + 1 additional number) and $90 on another (4 numbers).

What an exciting start to the new year!

一百萬

2006-02-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

詞：曲：原唱：黃一飛

提供者：李紅真添加/審核：李紅真

若是我有一百萬一百萬
我有一百萬一世人就輕鬆
無講無人知講到真歹勢
吃甲彼呢大漢擱不曾坐飛機
打拼彼多年無車無厝擱無愛人
看人娶某擱做生意有錢擱有勢

若是我有一百萬我要坐飛機
我要遊世界 HAWAII曬太陽日本吃壽司
若是我有一百萬我要買車買厝山珍甲海味啥人卡福氣來乎我做某
若是我有一百萬一百萬
若是你有欠用錢開嘴免客氣

若是我有一百萬我要坐飛機我要遊世界義大利飲咖啡路邊吃Spaghetti
若是我有一百萬我要買車買厝買店來收租閒閒免做工帶狗去散步
若是我有一百萬一百萬若是你有欠用錢開嘴免客氣
若是我有一百萬一百萬十千八千拿去用免還嘛無問題
若是我有一百萬一百萬
口白：朋友啊,你想一百萬真多啊!

Wish me luck for tomorrow's TOTO draw.

Happy Lunar New Year Down Under

2006-01-23T23:11:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my life, I'm going to be out of town during Chinese New Year.

I'm going to Gold Coast with my family (excluding my mother). It's just going to be my Dad, sister and brother.

My mother is going to Bangkok with her friends. (please don't ask me to explain why)

I'm leaving on 26 January (flight is in the wee hours of Friday morning) and returning on 01 February.

My mobile service doesn't come with free international roaming so I'm not bringing it along.

In anticipation of the Lunar New Year greetings that will flood my phone...

恭贺新禧, 恭喜发财
年年有余, 万事如意
新春快乐, 大吉大利

May the Year of the Dog bring everyone their dream bone.

When My Computer Is Scanning

2006-01-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

When my laptop is having its monthly full system scan...

You scored as Angel. Angel: Angels are the guardians of all things, from the smallest ant to the tallest tree. They give inspiration, love, hope, and positive emotion. They live among humans without being seen. They are the good in all things, and if you feel alone, don't fear. They are always watching. Often times they merely stand by, whispering into the ears of those who feel lost. They would love nothing more then to reveal themselves, but in today's society, this would bring havoc and many unneeded questions. Give thanks to all things beautiful, for you are an Angel.

Angel

67%

WereWolf

42%

Mermaid

33%

Faerie

33%

Dragon

33%

Demon

What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com

Hmm... I dressed up as an angel once for Halloween. Realised that I've a very dark side from this quiz. My next mythical alter is a werewolf. Have I ever told you I love the beauty of full moons?

From The Washington Post

2006-01-21T19:38:00.000+08:00

Each year the Washington Post asks readers to take any word from the dictionary and alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition.

(a) Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

(b) Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

(d) Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

(e) Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

(f) Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

(g) Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

(h) Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

(i) Glibido: All talk and no action.

(j) Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you have been smoking marijuana.

And, the pick of the literature:

(k) Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ass

My First Pay

2006-01-15T20:58:00.000+08:00

I got my first permanent pay credited into my account on 13th.

It is the end of my job search!

P/S: After some thought, I have decided to take off my personal ad. My friend is right - I am not ready for this next dating leap.

Is It Me?

2006-01-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

Is it me?

Or is it them?

Or is it just the pool of singles at SDU?

Why is it that guys who write to me from SDU are over 30?

The first was 30.

Second person was unidentified because I could not find his personal from his nickname.

The third is 32.

No younger guys like me to be their friend?

Casting Your Net: The Art of Fishing

2006-01-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

This blog entry is in honour of my colleague and friend Yen Lee.

She had wanted to write a book on MRT etiquette.

(1) Never lean your body on the pole as if you are not planning to pole dance.

(2) Never step back unnecessary and accidentally hurt someone else's toes.

(3) Never read the newspaper like you do at home. Instead, fold your newspapers so that you will not disturb your neighbour when you flip the pages.

(4) Never flip your hair in a crowded train. You are not acting in a Pantene commercial.

And that was it.

I gave her my honest opinion that 4 points were insufficient to make it a best seller. She needed at least 7 or 10. You know, like the "7 Effective Habits of Successful People" or the "10 Habits of Confident Women".

While on the phone with her, I was simultaneously surfing SDU's website and randomly checking out the guys (who *ahem* are really not my kind... I'm almost 60% sure that I want to remove my personal) and girls (Yen Lee says I should check out my competition), I was suddenly inspired.

I was reading out BIG DEAD FISH guy's profile to her. No idea why but having read it at least 3 times previously; I missed out this line that he helps his parents run their business and also manages his own internet business.

"Minyi! This guy may be rich ah! Can consider!"

"I cannot make it lah... Should recommend to you instead. Since you like to 撒网 (literally translated from Chinese as "casting your net", in this case, she is using the strategy of having a broad guy selection criteria to increase dating options) and he loves to fish, both of you are a match made in heaven!"

"Eh, I fish only to take a look. I will only pick up the fish if I like it."

"Really..."

"Once I get my fish, I will keep my net."

Remember you read it here first.

Casting Your Net: The Art of Fishing

Over The Rainbow

2006-01-09T21:41:00.000+08:00

I love listening to this song on a rainy day...

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

~Arlen-Harburg

The Big Dead Fish

2006-01-07T13:02:00.000+08:00

Before I heard the wonderful success stories about SDU, my impression was that only nerdy guys and sad lonely girls enrolled themselves. So I made up my mind that dating agencies like SDU were a big NO.

Then, I heard the good stories.

This girl met a guy. They got married 3 months later. According to unnamed sources, the guy looks a little like Leon Lai.

My friend's friend met a guy. Apparently quite a good catch and he does not look nerdy.

So I took the plunge.

I took so long to crap up my self description (minimum 250 words) that the session expired (probably because I was also watching a Bollywood movie at the same time).

"I am a cheerful outgoing person who enjoys the thrill of new experiences. This probably explains why I love travelling to new places. My favourite city is New York and I would love to visit Russia, Egypt and South America. I love photography as well, especially taking black and white pictures. Besides travelling and photography, my next great love is shopping. I cannot resist a sale, particularly for clothes and shoes."

Then for Describe what you are looking for:

"I would like to meet people who have a keen sense of adventure and are open minded to new ideas. Hopefully, they should be humorous and witty. Most importantly, they do not have to share my passions, but at least willing to share their interests."

The last sentence was to fulfil the 200 words minimum limit.

I got my first reply on Thursday.

I was excited. He sounded quite nice from his message. Said that he chanced upon my personal while surfing and saw me carrying my Nikon. He has an old Nikon too and would like to be my photography buddy.

I searched for his personal. He was a 30 year old Engineer.

Posing with a big fish he caught.

It was a really big fish. Since I'm not allowed to do a print screen of his picture, the drawing above is my rendition of the BIG DEAD FISH.

Have I ever told you I don't like fishing because it's a cruel hobby?

P/S: And he looks nerdy. Still deciding if I should reply his message or to take down my SDU personal.

A World of Possibilities, Just a Click Away

2006-01-02T22:47:00.000+08:00

After sleeping to my heart's content today, I awoke to the fact that it is 2006 and I am officially 24. It has been 5 years ago that I was 18. I have graduated from university and am officially beginning my career. The next logical step seemed to be marriage. If I had followed in my mother's footsteps, I should have married 3 years ago and had my first baby last year. As many would know, I am nowhere close to marrying and even further from having my first child.

I had to make a decision. Either I could continue my present life wishing that someone will sweep me off my feet on the bus to work or back home (this is really far-fetched because everyone looks sleepy on the way to work and tired on the way home) or I could embark on my quest for Prince Charming.

Since we are the nanny state, I decided that maybe my nanny can put herself to good use here. My 2 year free SDU membership password arrived in the mail about a month ago and was presently collecting dust on my table.

I was greeted with a happy website with a big picture of a happy couple. On the top left was a successful love-matching story of how two people met through iChat, got so comfortable chatting to each other and decided to meet up, found each other familiar, realised that they were living in the same building but different levels and progressed to becoming each other's alarm clocks in the morning.

This looked promising.

My brother was waking me up every morning this past December holiday. He was so zealous in waking me that he woke me up on the 26th of December at 8:45am.

"Wake up! Why are you still sleeping? It's 8:45am! Don't you have to work?"

Now that he's going back to school, maybe it's time for someone else to be my alarm clock.

So I happily logged in.

Everything seemed fine. I was asked to update my particulars like preferred name, nickname, where I was working, my annual income... until...

I was perturbed with height and weight until I saw Type of Built. I saw the selection - Athletic, Average... Pleasantly Plump?

They do not have a selection for "Drop-dead sexy" or "Model-type". Or even "Others". (what do you choose if you were between average and pleasantly plump?)

I felt like I was signing up for a fashion model show. I can imagine single guys typing in their search criteria - include Pleasantly Plump, exclude Petite.

Is this the harsh truth of dating? Whatever happened to "Smart witty girl with a good sense of humour"?

A world of possibilites and body types, really just a click away.

Disclaimer: I was game enough to register myself on SDU because I have heard successful love-matching stories and also that they have good salsa dancing classes. Once you have figured out your body type, I think you should sign up too. Don't waste your free membership right?

My New Year Resolution

2006-01-01T10:54:00.000+08:00

After my disastrous episode with the tuition kid and her mother, I was reflecting on what could have gone wrong. To me, it was not possible that all my other students liked me so much and treat me like their good friend and to have this one student who played me out so badly.

After some thought, I had an answer.

She was Singaporean.

All along, students I taught were not local. A few were from Indonesia and one from Thailand. Perhaps it was nationality which made my experience so terrible. Typical Singaporeans who are too measly to pay a good tutor and who are too afraid to tell her to go.

The typical ugly Singaporean who jostles you back into the train when you are trying to alight, plies up food the height of Bukit Timah Hill on his buffet plate and who never acknowledges you when you say THANK YOU (is it that difficult to say YOU ARE WELCOME?).

But when it rains...

I was on my way out to catch King Kong yesterday afternoon when it started to pour on my journey to Orchard. My bus was stopping at Orchard Emerald and I had to walk unsheltered some way to Cineleisure. Luckily for me, the rain subsided by the time I alighted but there was still moderate drizzle. I decided to brave the rain and kept my eyes down and walked as fast as I could.

Missed the traffic light crossing at Heeren. Just as I was praying silently for the rain not to pour again before I reached shelter; I felt the rain stop.

I turned to my left and there she was.

A KIND Singaporean.

She had walked up from behind and sheltered me from the rain.

Momentarily shocked that there was someone so kind, my eyes widened a moment before I said "Thank you".

She was gracious enough to smile and respond, "You are welcome".

As I looked up, there it was happening again.

A lady in front of me was trying to shelter two people who had rushed up to the front of the crossing. She was trying really hard to shelter the two people with her small foldable umbrella. But the two people did not realise her efforts.

My kind Samaritan sheltered me across the crossing and left me as she was heading up straight past Heeren while I had to brave another crossing. I thanked her once again before she left.

Just as I was still thinking what should be my 2006 resolution, it had come to me:

I will offer to share my umbrella to people in need.

The lady made my day but showing me that kind Singaporeans are not an urban myth.

I should pass the message on.

The Bad Neighbour

2005-12-29T13:03:00.000+08:00

Much to my surprise, Mrs. XXX picked up the phone on the 27th and told me to collect my money that night. Again, she harped about the 1.5h versus 2h tuition session during the phone conversation. I decided that I had better bring a friend for moral support. Figured that since I was going at night when everyone in the family would probably be around, it was quite likely she (or someone from the family) might start quarelling with me.

Luckily, she was very prompt in handing me the money and my books.

Shiling commented that she had a mean face. Like those you will see in a "Bad Neighbour" programme on TV (like the Everitt Road saga).

What can I say?

I'm just happy to get my pay and my books.

Where Is The Friend's House

2005-12-26T22:38:00.000+08:00

This film by Abbas Kiarostami takes its inspiration from a line in a poem by Iranian philosopher/poet Sohrab Sepehri:

"Where is the friend's house?" asked the horseman just at dawn.

The Heavens paused.

A wayfarer took the bright branch from his lips, conferred it on the darkness of the sands, pointed with his finger to a poplar tree and said,

"Just before that tree there is a garden path greener than God's dreams.

In it there is love as wide as the blue wings of true friendship.

You go on to the end of the path that takes up again just beyond maturity, then turn toward the flower of loneliness.

Two steps before the flower, stop at the eternal fountain of earthly myth.

There a transparent terror will seize you, and in the sincerity of the streaming heavens you will hear a rustling.

High up in a pine tree, you will see a child who will lift a chick out of a nest of light.

Ask him, 'Where is the friend's house?'

Calvin & Hobbes Wishes You Happy Holidays!

2005-12-22T23:11:00.000+08:00

Happy Holidays...! They are my favourite cartoon strip.

The next cartoon strip is not related to Christmas but has special significance to me. Last semester, I used it to start off my Health Economics presentation. I was presenting a paper on "Lighting Up and Slimming Down" - the economics of smoking. It seems that smoking is a weight loss strategy for females - which translated into economic slang; means that they are price insensitive. In contrast, males smoke for the "cool" factor so they are price sensitive and cut on smoking when prices increase.

Think the lecturer liked my comic because he praised my presentation privately to me later.

Here's another comic I used in school. A comic on math as a religion. This is personally revelant to me when I was taking Econometrics. Nothing made sense to me. I just have to accept everything in blind faith that Woolsworth wrote in his book. Till today, I'm still a believer because I passed Econometrics!

The Student And Mother From Hell

2005-12-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

Feeling rather brave and mostly irritated that the student's mother has not called me since Saturday (nor has my student replied my message), I decided to be foolhardy and call her house from my office.

To my surprise (or perhaps it was my good luck and divine intervention), her mother answered my call.

"Hi Mrs XXX, I need to speak to you about YY."

"Is this urgent?"

"Yes, it is urgent. I can't continue to give YY tuition anymore."

"Ok."

Hmm... Interesting. Her answer was just a simple OK in an unfriendly tone. Didn't even have the courtesy to pretend and ask me why I'm quitting.

"I've been messaging YY to contact you. I'm sorry that I have to stop."

"I've been very busy. I had also wanted to contact you about this matter."

This matter? So she had already harboured thoughts of letting me go! Why can't she just tell me earlier? I was beginning to feel irritated.

"So what's your address? I'll post you a cheque for the 3.5h tuition you gave."

"It's 4h. Not 3.5h, Mrs XXX."

"No. It's 3.5h. The last lesson was 1.5h. YY told you the last lesson was 1.5h."

"No, the last lesson was 2h. YY told me the next lesson would be 1.5h. We never had the next lesson."

"No, I checked the clock. It was 1.5h."

"No, it's 2h. I came for tuition for 2h."

"No, it's 1.5h. You purposely stretched the lesson to 2h."

At this point, I was exasperated and wanted to give up. It was all going in circles. The mother insisting that it was 1.5h and me insisting it was 2h. After a quick thought, I decided I should not give in. It was my hard-earned money. I earned it the right way and I should not give in to overbearing and rude people like her. Moreover to people who call me a cheat. So I insisted my way.

"No, Mrs XXX. The last lesson was 2h."

"You didn't stay for 2h. You stayed for less than 2h. Maybe about 1h 45 minutes."

Aha! See? Now she admits. I definitely stayed longer than 1.5h.

"No, I stayed for 2h. Do you remember you had to rush YY for lunch? I gave tuition for 2h."

"Ok. I'll pay you for 4h. What's your address?"

"I have to collect the pay from you personally. I have two books still with YY."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. One is a Sloman Economics textbook. Another is a Math 10-year series. You can check with YY."

"Call me again to arrange a time to drop by."

"Can we arrange now? Then I won't have to bother you again."

"No, call me after Christmas to arrange a time. I'm very busy now."

"But it won't take long. Why don't we just fix a time now?"

"I'm very busy and rushing for an appointment now. Call me after Christmas to arrange."

"So I'll call you on 27th? Is that ok?"

"Yah, yah, call me then."

The student and mother from hell.

Minyi wishes them happy holidays. Merry Christmas and a Happy Hot Year.

When Enough Is ENOUGH

2005-12-17T11:50:00.000+08:00

I'm a big believer of 2nd chances, the kindness and decency of humans.

I've always believed that if you are kind, kindness reciprocates twice as much.

Which is why I'm sorry to say now, my faith has been shaken.

It takes alot to make me irritated but once you achieve it, it takes alot to humour me. Honestly, I would say that it's a feat to be able to irritate me because I'm ok with most things, give in most of the time during arguments and don't bear a grudge. In a nutshell, I forgive and truly forget.

So when I say that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, you know I really MEAN BUSINESS. I have never felt so irritated by a single person in my life. I have never thought it was even possible to be so angry and disappointed with a younger female.

But it has happened.

I should have seen it coming.

She stayed in the Republic of Jurong West (sorry to folks living in Jurong West - I always feel like I'm leaving Singapore whenever I go Jurong West), the mother was a witch and they blatantly spoke Hokkien in front of ME about ME; not even caring if I could possible understand Hokkien (I can).

Yes, to be frank - I have been late for tuition. But it takes me a long walk to take bus 200 to Buona Vista MRT, ride all the way to Boon Lay and then take a shuttle bus ride of 15 minutes to reach her house. See? I bet you felt tired too reading the last sentence. Plus, she wants tuition only on Saturday or Sunday mornings at 10am which means I have to wake up at 8am just to reach her house at 10:30am. To me, this is a huge sacrifice - weekend mornings are reserved for my bed.

The only draw for me to get out of bed was the $45/h pay. I know that is a very good rate, but hey, she lives very far away in Republic of Jurong West and I'm teaching her Economics and Math-C.

The early warning signs were there but I chose to ignore them and believed in the goodness of people.

"I'm sorry, but I have to cancel tonight's tuition. I'll arrange with you soon ok?"

This was sent the day of the tuition itself - about 1/2 day before I was supposed to give her tuition.

Once, twice, even thrice I can forgive. But cancelling tuition with me CONSECUTIVELY for more than 5 times in a row. It takes a big whack on my head to make me forget.

It got so bad - I had to message her on the day before tuition to make sure it was still on and she was not going to cancel me last minute again.

I know... Minyi is pathetic for $45/h.

Then came the holidays.

"Can we have tuition once every two weeks during the holidays? You can teach me the new syllabus for next year."

She actually requested for tuition during the holidays. I felt a surge of happiness. Perhaps there was still goodness in people.

"I was thinking can we have tuition instead 1.5h every week during the holidays?"

There's only two weeks left to the holidays. I have NEVER had a single session.

First she used herself - "I'm sick"

Then came her school - "I have a school OGL camp"

Third came her Dad - "My Dad got a free hotel stay over the weekend"

Fourth was her family - "We are going to Penang for a holiday"

Fifth she never came back.

I told her before her Penang trip that we should scrap the 1.5h idea because there was much time left and I won't be able to teach her much.

I decided when she did not call me after she returned from the Penang trip, I would drop her.

You know something irritating about her? She never picks up my call. Even her mother does not pick up my call when I ring their home. It's a big conspiracy against the female tutor.

As I predicted, she did not pick up my call so I left her a voice message. She replied me almost instantly that her mobile was low in battery and she would like to have tuition this coming Saturday (17 December 2005) at 10:30am.

Hmmm... I thought to myself. Perhaps there was really some good left in her. I decided she should have a second chance.

Yesterday night, her dreaded message arrived.

"I can only have tuition for 1.5h tomorrow so it will end at 12pm."

Half a chance gone. She had half left. I decided to call her and check if she can make it for tuition at 10am so we can end at 12pm still. Guess what? She didn't pick up so I left 2 voice messages for her to call me back.

"It's not convenient for me to pick up the phone now. I have to cancel tomorrow's tuition. Will get back to you assap. Thanks!"

This was the message that broke Minyi's spirit.

As if one slap in the face is not enough, she had to make sure she slapped my other cheek at 7:51 am this morning:

"I hope you have received my message. I won't be able to have tuition today. Will get back to you asap. Thanks and see you!"

I didn't reply to her message that broke my spirit. I didn't like wasting my messages on a stupid "OK" reply.

"Would appreciate if you can get your mother to call me ASAP. Preferably by this coming Wednesday. I've urgent things to discuss with her. Thanks."

MINYI IS NO PUSHOVER FOR $45/H.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Almost... There

2005-12-05T20:59:00.000+08:00

HR has finally called me today for an Offer Session at 2pm.

I got my employment letter.

There will be no pay revision or bonuses for 2006.

Scheduled to begin on JPMorgan payroll January 2006.

My pay was worth the wait.

The Wait is Over...Almost

2005-11-30T19:27:00.000+08:00

Good news - FINALLY!

My boss has informed me today that the big big boss in NY has signed my confirmation.

HR is currently preparing the paperwork to onboard me and will probably call me tomorrow to arrange an appointment.

Unfortunately, this onboarding process will take another two weeks because of security clearance.

So probably mid-December.

Another wait.

Cowebs Are Growing

2005-11-25T15:52:00.000+08:00

There has been a delay in NY.

All this bureaucracy.

The big big boss in NY did not get my confirmation.

The last signature.

Give it another week or so.

When will the HR call me?

Mid-November Blues

2005-11-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

They promised me mid-November.

It is already 18 November.

I think it is fair to say mid-November is here.

There is no news of my permanent position.

Everyone tells "Be patient. It will come."

Everyone is not an economist who has studied the concept of opportunity cost.

I'm sick and tired of waiting.

I'm sick and tired of "It's coming."

I'm sick and tired of earning $6.50/h.

I'm very demoralised.

The Butler Didn't Do It

2005-11-01T11:52:00.000+08:00

Do you still remember this?

After watching Project Runway yesterday night, I finally realised who was going around killing corns:

That's him!

The Promised Land

2005-10-30T00:09:00.000+08:00

Objective: Work in a BIG foreign investment bank (which means the public sector and all local banks are out = very restrictive positions I can apply for)

Action: Looks at Recruit Saturday to look for positions

Result: No jobs that I can apply to! Either (a) not qualified (b) not BIG enough bank (c) local bank (d) Public sector positions

Plan A (i)- Comb all job agencies in International Plaza

Result: Was slammed by two agencies for expecting too high a starting pay for a fresh graduate with no prior experience. Luckily, managed to find a one-woman agency who specialises in getting banking jobs

Plan A (ii) - Apply directly at the bank's website online - a little hard to get a position since it's a cold call, but since I do not want to apply for most jobs in the papers, I had better look at alternatives

Result: Went for one interview at JPMorgan recommended by the agency - but failed

Plan B - Went for a second interview at JPMorgan 3 weeks later for another position - success!

Objective: It's a temporary position (aka pay is terrible) but heck, it's JPMorgan. Let me get in first and see if I can get a permanent position somehow - Foot in the Door strategy

Plan C - Started work. Feels extremely demoralised by pay. Further demoralised in the realisation that no headcount exists in my department. Free Pokka Green Tea in the pantry cannot allievate my pain. Applies aggressively on the available positions posted in the internal database. Applies on external websites as well

Result: No luck on the database. Realises that applying internally may not be as easy as thought. Shortlisted for two different positions with Bloomberg. Both never made it past the 1st round

Plan D - Job agency helps me. Sends me for another permanent position interview at JPMorgan

Result: Shortlisted for 2nd round. Department boss speaks to me on the same day of interview. She has fought for a headcount and wants me to know she is interested to convert me - Wah!

Plan E - Rejects 2nd round to wait for my permanent position in current department. Decided that current department is closer to my interests

Result: Still waiting for news after 1 month. Feels very stupid and realises that I may have made a mistake rejecting the 2nd round because I may have become a permanent staff by now

Plan F - Tries for other positions. No harm trying since I really would not know how long I have to wait

Result - Job agency helps again. Sends me for oil trading company interview. Shortlisted for 2nd round. Spent the whole weekend learning all about oil and its trends. Failed 2nd round - Extremely demoralised. I had really wanted this position because I could have progressed to be an oil trader

Plan G - Boss tells me that headcount is finally approved by Global Manager!

Result: Waiting now for my last stage approval. Hopefully to be converted permanent by mid-November latest

Who Says Vegetables Have No Sense Of Humour?

2005-10-29T11:45:00.000+08:00

Does Evil Exist?

2005-10-20T23:12:00.000+08:00

The university Professor challenged his students with this question. Did God create everything that exists? A student bravely replied, “Yes, he did!”

“God created everything?” the Professor asked.

“Yes sir”, the student replied.

The Professor answered, “If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are then God is evil.”

The student became quiet before such an answer. The Professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that faith in God was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, “Can I ask you a question Professor?”

“Of course”, replied the Professor.

The student stood up and asked, “Professor, does cold exist?”

“What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?” the students snickered at the young man’s question.

The young man replied, “In fact Sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (- 460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.

The student continued. “Professor, does darkness exist?”

The Professor responded, “Of course it does.”

The student replied, “Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton’s prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn’t this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present.”

Finally the young man asked the Professor. “Sir, does evil exist?”

Now uncertain, the Professor responded, “Of course as I have already said. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.”

To which this the student replied, “Evil does not exist Sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is not like faith, or love that exist just as does light and heat. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God’s love present in his heart. It’s like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.”

The Professor sat down.

The young man’s name –– Albert Einstein

Tiger Beer East Meets West Horoscope

2005-10-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

This horoscope reading is really quite accurate!

In both emotional and spiritual ways, it's easy to see just how fortunate you'd be in your adult life. In addition, since Scorpio rules the inevitable, you own the propensity for timing necessary events with an eye toward doing what must be done as soon as it must be done-one of the most valuable assets anyone can have.

This is very true - I always felt that I had a good sixth sense.

The astrology of your birth time shows both your tendency to give and to accept-but most of all, the incidence of the "eleventh-hour" intervention of fate. In all situations, then, you're likely optimistic, believing that the Universe will provide-and the high side of this unswerving optimism is that it will always be with you, even in seemingly 'no-win" situations. In a nutshell, it will likely always be safe for you to trust fate. In fact, your trust in the future will usually lead you to a safe harbor and the genuine knowledge that what is given out is received and given back tenfold-as they say. As such, you are likely one of the most genuinely generous people in your peer group or circle, lacking nothing when it comes to faith in others. Just be sure you're as cautious as you are fair-minded. Not everyone is as reputable and full of integrity as you are.

This paragraph is very accurate - especially the part on "eleventh-hour" intervention of fate. My luck never fails me at critical moments. My friend is asking me for TOTO numbers at 5pm tomorrow to test this "eleventh-hour" hypothesis.

Your best bet for a long-term relationship is probably with one of the two other fire signs, Leos or Aries, but the air signs, Libra, Gemini, and Aquarius, will also prove worthy partners or enduring friends.

Your gift is your ability to make friends easily-and those friendships will last forever. Your challenge is to never let your guard down when your intuition speaks up.

So next time I tell you my intuition is speaking, please listen up!

Try this at: http://www.tigerbeer.us/horoscope/

The Great Debate

2005-10-17T23:11:00.000+08:00

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Chinese had to leave Italy.

Naturally there was a big uproar from the Chinese community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Chinese community. If the Chinese win, they could stay. If the Pope wins, the Chinese would leave. The Chinese realized that they had no other choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Ah Peh to represent them. Ah Peh asked for one condition to be added to the debate. "To make it more interesting", he said, "neither side would be allowed to talk". The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came.

Ah Peh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Ah Peh looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Ah Peh pointed to the ground at where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine. Ah Peh pull out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said: "I give up. This man is too good. The Chinese can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were all around The Pope asking him what had happened.

The Pope said, "first I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions."

"Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us."

"I pulled out the wine and loaf to show that God absolves all sin. He showed me an apple to remind us of the original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Chinese community had crowded around Ah Peh.

"What happened?" they asked.

"Well," said Ah Peh, "First he indicated to me that all Chinese had 3 days to get out of here. I replied to him f*@k off and not one of us was leaving."

"Then he pointed that this whole city would be cleared of Chinese. I showed him that we are staying right here."

"Yes, and then???" asked the crowd.

"I don't know", said Ah Peh, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine."

Rest For A Day

2005-10-16T13:20:00.000+08:00

This is the first time since a long long time that I get to stay home and rest for the day. To make this rest day more meaningful, it's pouring now and I love the smell and sound of heavy rain! Especially when I'm not caught in it and am warm and dry indoors.

I'm currently in the midst of reloading all the pictures in my blog entries because all the links I had with imageshack had been broken. This is quite a painful and slow process though because I have to upload pictures to Flickr and then manually click "Add Image" in the blog entry to add the URL link. To make things worse, the "Add Image" screen takes forever to load up. As of today, I have only completed March and two entries for April. Think it will take me forever to complete reloading the pictures.

When I was loading the images, I realised that I have never uploaded any of my graduation pictures. This is because I did not take any graduation pictures on convocation day itself using my digital camera (only took pictures with my family's film camera) and relied on my friends' digital cameras. This is not because I forgot my camera - I even bought fresh batteries the night before and brought my camera along - I saw no need to use mine since it's mostly group pictures and it is really a waste of resources and time making the photographer take two pictures with the same people but with different cameras. Decided it was much more efficient to use my friends' cameras for the pictures and then to download them myself later on. The same applied when a group of us went to Esplanade and Chijmes to take outdoor pictures. Since I'm now in the mood of doing all these picture administrative stuff, I decided to download the graduation pictures from my friends' cameras.

Came across this picture which was taken on that outing to Chijmes and Esplanade. When this picture was taken, I had already been walking about in my gown for about 3h, lugging my graduation gown bag (ok, I had no lugging because Alex helped me with mine as part of a deal we made) and my legs were hurting from all that walking in my heels. So when we finally had a chance to sit down in front of the Esplanade Library - this was how I looked.

"Wah! Minyi Ah Lian ah!"

Just because I sat with my legs apart (and I honestly do not think my legs were that apart) does not make me an Ah Lian. Besides in my opinion, Ah Lians do not sit with their legs wide apart, but they squat. Right? So technically, I do not qualify to be one.

Unfortunately, my friends do not agree and now I'm the official Ah Lian in the group.

Which brings me to the point why I posted this picture:

Show everyone a picture of myself in my graduation gown
Gather feedback based on this picture that I do not qualify to be an Ah Lian (please post your comments in my tag-board)
This picture aptly illustrates how I feel today - finally able to rest after working hard for the longest time ever

Disclaimer: I do not always sit with my legs wide apart. I only do that when I'm wearing pants. Most importantly, I have absolutely nothing against Ah Lians. My Ah Lian and Ah Beng friends can vouch for me.

Dear Friends

2005-09-25T20:45:00.000+08:00

Dear friends who still bother to read my blog,

Thanks very much for your continued patronage although I have hardly any updates on my blog since starting work. I will attempt to blog more frequently in future when I am:

(1) not searching for a job
(2) not giving tuition
(3) not sleeping
(4) not watching The Apprentice or America's Next Top Model
(5) not going out with my friends (hardly)
(6) not working as a consultant at JPMorgan
(7) not coming home after 10pm every night and feeling very tired after a 11h workday

I hope you can understand the lack of new content now.

Yours faithfully,
Minyi

Vanity Fair Retrospective

2005-08-09T00:36:00.000+08:00

I was looking through my old pictures in my computer when I came across Vanity Fair. Last year this time, I was invited to be a hair model in Toni & Guy's Academy Graduation Show (Vanity Fair) by one of its graduating student, Smita.

The event was held at Centro and there were 5 graduating students. Smita's theme was WHITE (which explains why all her models wore white). It was really quite an experience as they coloured my hair bright pink and red (which I must say, actually looks quite good!) and 15 minutes before the show started, they cut my fringe. Yes, they did. They decided something was wrong with the way I looked and the hairdresser decided to just cut away half of my fringe.

The new fringe was very edgy but in the end, I decided not to keep the look because it was really irritating when the long part of it could not stay in place.

For my friends whom I invited but could not make it, here's presenting...

VANITY FAIR 2004

In case you can't spot me, that's me 4th from the right standing in between a guy and a girl dressed in white. Everyone you see dressed in white from head to bottom are Smita's models. For your information, the guy standing next to me is not a Batman wannabe gone wrong colour. All of Smita's male models decided to paint the white thing to make them look cool. (Realise that the 8th person from the right has the white thing too!)

Unfortuntately, that's the only picture that is decent from the hair show. The rest of the pictures are too blurry because my friends who came to support me came late and hence sat too far away to take proper pictures. Plus, it was too dark and there were too many people in Centro anyway.

Here are my friends who came to lend me support:

From back: Kent, Myself, Karen and Bee Thiam

After the event ended, we went to Lao Pa Sat for supper.

Here's a closer view of my hairdo and make-up

Side-view of myself

Close-up of my eyes... Notice the glitter? All of Smita's female models had that, sort of like to be uniform with the guys...

So there's my one night of fame and glory as a hair show model.

All Work And No Play Makes Minyi A Dull Girl

2005-07-26T00:21:00.000+08:00

Mondays to Fridays

7:00 a.m. - Alarm clock rings and hits the snooze button

7:30 a.m. - Reluctantly drag myself out of bed after hitting the snooze button twice

7:40 a.m. - Bathe and think about what to wear for work

8:30 a.m. - Leaves home with breakfast in handbag

8:35 a.m. - (a)"Damn!" as bus 10 zooms past me or (b)"Damn!" as I break the world record for the 10m sprint to the bus-stop to catch my bus

8:36 a.m. - Close my eyes and try to rest during the journey while CNA morning news plays in the background

9:10 a.m. - Arrive at the office

9:12 a.m. - Take a seat and turn on my computer

9:15 a.m. - Check my email and delete about 80% of incoming email because they have absolutely nothing to do with me (or if they do, well, then too bad)

9:30 a.m. - Still in the process of settling down and contemplating if I should walk to the pantry to fill up my water bottle

10:00 a.m. - Still thinking about my water bottle but too lazy to walk about 45 steps (one way) to the pantry

10:15 a.m. - Start to do work

11:15 a.m. - Feeling thirsty and decides to fill my bottle

1:15 p.m. - Lunch!

2:30 p.m. - Back to work

3:00 p.m. - Feeling very drowsy and trying to fight off not to doze off

5:00 p.m. - Feeling more alert and becomes more productive

6:45 p.m. - Bye to my office

7:20 p.m. - Arrives at my student's house to start tuition

9:30 p.m. - Tuition ends

10:15 p.m. - Eats dinner alone at kopitiam near my house

10:45 p.m. - Reaches home

10:50 p.m. - Lies in bed to rest before bathing

11:30 p.m. - Oops... Fell asleep and didn't even realise

11:45 p.m. - All showered and ready for bed

12:00 midnight - I'm off to bed

REPEAT

Saturday and Sunday

Tuition in the morning and afternoon

So now everyone knows what I have been doing all these days which I have never blogged.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

2005-07-24T22:50:00.000+08:00

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

~Robert Frost
(1874 - 1963)

Peanuts

2005-07-23T22:47:00.000+08:00

I think the person who came up with this comic is ingenious...